IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You experienced an incident on public transport that caused you distress. Write a letter to the managed of the public transport company. In your letter Describe the incident Explain how this incident affected you Suggest what could be done about it

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to report an incident that happened when I travelled by the government
bus
Use synonyms
 from Navai to Tashkent. I had been
Navai
Change preposition
to Navai
show examples
 to see my parents because I
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 not seen
him
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 for five months. I came to the place by train alone. After spending some time with my parents, I wanted to leave.
As
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I asked the university for permission for a week. Unfortunately, there
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 no train tickets on the day I
leave
Wrong verb form
left
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
decided to take a
bus
Use synonyms
. I walked to the
bus
Use synonyms
 station in Navai and waited for A39 which goes to Tashkent. I got on the
bus
Use synonyms
.A strange
woman
Use synonyms
 sat in the seat next to me. After half an hour, suddenly that
woman
Use synonyms
 started screaming. She
say
Change the verb form
says
show examples
: "She stole my money" "She stole my money ", "OMG", "1000$". That
woman
Use synonyms
 slandered me.
Then
Linking Words
 I went to the police station. After an hour's argument, the inspector agreed and let me go. But it made me sleepless for two nights. I ask you to punish that
woman
Use synonyms
. Yours sincerely, Billura

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide clearer descriptions of the incident to help the reader understand the context better.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow and coherence of your writing.
task achievement
You effectively communicated your distress caused by the incident, which evokes empathy from the reader.
coherence and cohesion
The letter follows a general letter format, including appropriate closing and greeting.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: