The internet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Over the past few decades, there has been a profound increase in the number of
individuals
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choosing to communicate through social networking platforms. It is considered by some
individuals
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that
this
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is a step in the right direction,
while
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another school of thought believe that it is detrimental to the future of
communication
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.
This
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essay outlines both these views and agrees that a right balance has to be struck to fully reap the benefits of
this
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development. One the the main advantages of interacting with the help of social media is that the distance barrier can be overcome.
This
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can help
individuals
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maintain healthy and meaningful relationships with friends and family members who live far away.
For example
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, students studying abroad can update their parents about their lives in a new country.
Additionally
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, through video calls, they could
also
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see their family members which completely enhances the
communication
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process.
Therefore
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, the advancements in technology have enabled long-distance audio and video-aided
communication
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and can have a positive effect on many
individuals
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. Despite the benefits,
communication
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through social media can be disadvantageous as there could be a decline in the frequency and quality of interactions. In the past,
people
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used to meet their friends to spend quality time with them in social areas
such
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as coffee shops or bars. With the development of social networking platforms,
individuals
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prefer to communicate in the comfort of their homes
instead
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of meeting
people
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outside.
As a result
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, it has made
people
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lazier and has reduced the value of human interaction. In my opinion, to fully benefit from the development of the Internet, a combination of both these methods of
communication
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has to be used and the right balance has to be maintained. If the distance between two
people
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willing to communicate is large, online
communication
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might be the best method.
However
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, local meetings have to be encouraged as they help to overcome the detrimental effects of
communication
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via the Internet. In conclusion,
although
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the distance between
individuals
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can be ignored
while
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communicating online, it cannot be denied that the quality of these interactions falls dramatically.
Hence
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, I believe that proper usage of both these methods is essential for effective
communication
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.
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized and addresses both sides of the argument. However, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve clarity.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples and supported your main points well. Nonetheless, consider adding a few more specific examples to strengthen your arguments further.
task achievement
While your argument is generally clear, there are minor grammar and phrasing issues that could be refined for better clarity. For instance, 'One the the main advantages' should be 'One of the main advantages'.
coherence cohesion
You presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which provided a coherent structure for your essay.
task achievement
You adequately discussed both viewpoints and provided your own opinion clearly, fulfilling the task requirements.
task achievement
Your use of examples, such as students studying abroad, effectively illustrated your points and made your argument more persuasive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant communication
  • global connectivity
  • networking opportunities
  • data privacy
  • data breaches
  • mental health issues
  • excessive use
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • feelings of loneliness
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • public misinformation
  • societal harm
  • shared interests
  • engaged
  • foster communities
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