The internet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Over the past few decades, there has been a profound increase in the number of
individuals
choosing to communicate through social networking platforms. It is considered by some individuals
that this
is a step in the right direction, while
another school of thought believe that it is detrimental to the future of communication
. This
essay outlines both these views and agrees that a right balance has to be struck to fully reap the benefits of this
development.
One the the main advantages of interacting with the help of social media is that the distance barrier can be overcome. This
can help individuals
maintain healthy and meaningful relationships with friends and family members who live far away. For example
, students studying abroad can update their parents about their lives in a new country. Additionally
, through video calls, they could also
see their family members which completely enhances the communication
process. Therefore
, the advancements in technology have enabled long-distance audio and video-aided communication
and can have a positive effect on many individuals
.
Despite the benefits, communication
through social media can be disadvantageous as there could be a decline in the frequency and quality of interactions. In the past, people
used to meet their friends to spend quality time with them in social areas such
as coffee shops or bars. With the development of social networking platforms, individuals
prefer to communicate in the comfort of their homes instead
of meeting people
outside. As a result
, it has made people
lazier and has reduced the value of human interaction.
In my opinion, to fully benefit from the development of the Internet, a combination of both these methods of communication
has to be used and the right balance has to be maintained. If the distance between two people
willing to communicate is large, online communication
might be the best method. However
, local meetings have to be encouraged as they help to overcome the detrimental effects of communication
via the Internet.
In conclusion, although
the distance between individuals
can be ignored while
communicating online, it cannot be denied that the quality of these interactions falls dramatically. Hence
, I believe that proper usage of both these methods is essential for effective communication
.Submitted by Writing8
on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized and addresses both sides of the argument. However, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve clarity.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples and supported your main points well. Nonetheless, consider adding a few more specific examples to strengthen your arguments further.
task achievement
While your argument is generally clear, there are minor grammar and phrasing issues that could be refined for better clarity. For instance, 'One the the main advantages' should be 'One of the main advantages'.
coherence cohesion
You presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which provided a coherent structure for your essay.
task achievement
You adequately discussed both viewpoints and provided your own opinion clearly, fulfilling the task requirements.
task achievement
Your use of examples, such as students studying abroad, effectively illustrated your points and made your argument more persuasive.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example