In many countries, a prison sentence is considered as the best way to decrease crime. However, education is often argued as a more effective way. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The increasing crime rates globally undoubtedly question the effectiveness of prison sentences.
Although
, in a majority of countries imprisonment is believed to be the most effective method of reducing criminal activities. Nevertheless
, educating criminals
vocationally and academically has proven more impactful. It is my fierce belief that an amalgamation of both is required to uproot this
issue completely.
The doubts regarding imprisonment are due to
the fact that most crimes are committed by repeat criminals
who have already served jail time in the past. Nevertheless
, if there were to be no repercussions for their deeds - crimes are set to increase exponentially. To put it in perspective, fear
of being imprisoned limits many to fall into illegal activities, leading to a safer Correct article usage
the fear
society
. Moreover
, institutionalisation of criminals
also
provides justice to the victims, by fairly punishing those responsible for their losses. Without these, there would be a sense of unrest and a want for revenge by these victims, resulting in a further
increase in criminal cases. Therefore
, doing away with prisons would definitely lead to higher incidences and a chaotic society
with no trust in the judicial system.
To tackle this
pressing issue in a systematic way, introducing educational subjects and workshops teaching vocational skills can serve as successful steps. Proper rehabilitation can be achieved with greater ease in such
criminals
, as it is statistically proven that most criminal acts are committed by uneducated and unskilled members of society
. These individuals are often left with no choice other than to make a living for themselves by illegal methods to sustain their lives. Educating and teaching them skills can motivate criminals
to utilise the taught skill towards building a life by fair means instead
of relapsing. For instance
, if individuals serving jail time are taught to repair electronic appliances there is a greater chance of them being able to earn enough to lead a respectable life, as compared to the ones who are sent back into the society
without any personal growth.
In conclusion, I firmly believe a cumulative strategy of punishment and skill development can dramatically reduce crime rates, as it empowers previously unemployed criminals
who lacked the means to aquire
any skill set and were forced to return to the world of crime for survival.Correct your spelling
acquire
Submitted by Writing8
on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Grammar
Ensure to maintain grammatical consistency throughout the essay, specifically focusing on plural forms (e.g., 'skills' instead of 'skill') and article usage (e.g., 'the increasing crime rates').
Task Achievement
While the essay presents balanced viewpoints, providing a few more recent statistics or citing studies regarding the effectiveness of educational programs on reducing recidivism rates would strengthen the argument further.
Coherence and Cohesion
Avoid being overly redundant in the explanation. For instance, the introduction can present the essay's stance succinctly without reiteration.
Content
The essay presents a balanced view, effectively discussing both the importance of imprisonment and the benefits of educational programs for criminals.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-written, clearly stating the writer’s position and summarizing the key points of the essay.
Structure
Each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next, resulting in a logically structured argument that is easy to follow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!