In many countries, a prison sentence is considered as the best way to decrease crime. However, education is often argued as a more effective way. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The increasing crime rates globally undoubtedly question the effectiveness of prison sentences.
Although
, in a majority of countries imprisonment is believed to be the most effective method of reducing criminal activities. Linking Words
Nevertheless
, educating Linking Words
criminals
vocationally and academically has proven more impactful. It is my fierce belief that an amalgamation of both is required to uproot Use synonyms
this
issue completely.
The doubts regarding imprisonment are Linking Words
due to
the fact that most crimes are committed by repeat Linking Words
criminals
who have already served jail time in the past. Use synonyms
Nevertheless
, if there were to be no repercussions for their deeds - crimes are set to increase exponentially. To put it in perspective, Linking Words
fear
of being imprisoned limits many to fall into illegal activities, leading to a safer Correct article usage
the fear
society
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, institutionalisation of Linking Words
criminals
Use synonyms
also
provides justice to the victims, by fairly punishing those responsible for their losses. Without these, there would be a sense of unrest and a want for revenge by these victims, resulting in a Linking Words
further
increase in criminal cases. Linking Words
Therefore
, doing away with prisons would definitely lead to higher incidences and a chaotic Linking Words
society
with no trust in the judicial system.
To tackle Use synonyms
this
pressing issue in a systematic way, introducing educational subjects and workshops teaching vocational skills can serve as successful steps. Proper rehabilitation can be achieved with greater ease in Linking Words
such
Linking Words
criminals
, as it is statistically proven that most criminal acts are committed by uneducated and unskilled members of Use synonyms
society
. These individuals are often left with no choice other than to make a living for themselves by illegal methods to sustain their lives. Educating and teaching them skills can motivate Use synonyms
criminals
to utilise the taught skill towards building a life by fair means Use synonyms
instead
of relapsing. Linking Words
For instance
, if individuals serving jail time are taught to repair electronic appliances there is a greater chance of them being able to earn enough to lead a respectable life, as compared to the ones who are sent back into the Linking Words
society
without any personal growth.
In conclusion, I firmly believe a cumulative strategy of punishment and skill development can dramatically reduce crime rates, as it empowers previously unemployed Use synonyms
criminals
who lacked the means to Use synonyms
aquire
any skill set and were forced to return to the world of crime for survival.Correct your spelling
acquire
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Grammar
Ensure to maintain grammatical consistency throughout the essay, specifically focusing on plural forms (e.g., 'skills' instead of 'skill') and article usage (e.g., 'the increasing crime rates').
Task Achievement
While the essay presents balanced viewpoints, providing a few more recent statistics or citing studies regarding the effectiveness of educational programs on reducing recidivism rates would strengthen the argument further.
Coherence and Cohesion
Avoid being overly redundant in the explanation. For instance, the introduction can present the essay's stance succinctly without reiteration.
Content
The essay presents a balanced view, effectively discussing both the importance of imprisonment and the benefits of educational programs for criminals.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-written, clearly stating the writer’s position and summarizing the key points of the essay.
Structure
Each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next, resulting in a logically structured argument that is easy to follow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example