IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Q. People who go to live in other countries, should follow the customs and traditions of the new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#q #people #countries #customs #traditions #country
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In today's diverse
society
, whilst some individuals travel abroad and don't lead the local traditions reckon themselves as patriots of their own
country
, others are got used to abiding by the customs of a new visiting
country
, in the sense of showing respect. I profoundly believe that esteem is a cornerstone of nowadays multicultural life in conjunction with total comprehension of culture.
To begin
 with, each
country
 of the world possesses its own regulations which several groups of
people
 consider not indispensable to lead, in the sense of betraying feelings.
Moreover
, a tremendous quantity of
people
 are brainwashed by their own government to loathe other countries and love only the
country
 which they are from.
For instance
, the republican party of the USA always conveys adverse propaganda in relation to Mexican
society
, eluding severe repercussions,
such
 as a big hate towards Americans. Coherently regarding the understanding of a
country
's law, culture, and customs, it grants an opportunity to acknowledge the way of behaving that would be appropriate.
For
this
 reason, the majority of humankind
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 able to avoid unnecessary tensions between locals and foreigners. The alluring sample of it manifests in a Kazakh
society
 where taking a debt from a bank to arrange a wedding is a historical tradition. Correspondingly, European
people
 who will come to Kazakhstan for the first time will be in cultural shock owing to their own traditions. To recap the aforementioned, I firmly give credence to
people
 for having a modest preparation prior to going to a new
country
, in the sense of awareness and acting appropriately within
society
, showing mutual respect.
Submitted by kirkagoglesmail on

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task achievement
Make sure every point you introduce is clearly supported with detailed examples or explanations. For instance, while mentioning the influence of the US Republican party, it's better to provide specific evidence or scenarios to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid overly complex sentence structures to ensure your ideas are clear and easily understood. Simpler sentences can often be more effective.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of redundancy and repetitiveness. For example, instead of restating an idea, you can elaborate on it to provide deeper insights or explore another related point.
coherence cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion that clearly present your viewpoint and summarize the key arguments.
task achievement
Relevant examples were used to illustrate your points, particularly in the second body paragraph discussing Kazakh society.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of your essay is logical and flows well from one idea to the next.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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