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Band 7.5

The increase in the production of consumer consumption goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this and what can be done to solve this problem?

#production #consumer #consumption #goods #results #damage #environment
Nowadays, there has been a dramatic increase in the number of demand and supply.
Although
 many people claim that it is beneficial as it makes our lives easier,
such
 an approach can lead to significant environmental
damage
. Fortunately, being aware of its causes we can find solutions to solve
this
 problem. Reasons for climate change resulting in mass consumption are very diverse. First and foremost, they are an effect of the pollution. Greenhouse gases that are sent to the atmosphere by global corporations
as well as
 toxic wastes thrown away to the sea contribute to the destruction of the natural environment by polluting the air and water.
Furthermore
, deforestation is another cause. In order to build new factories a free space is needed;
as a result
, many trees are cut down to make room for warehouses and places to work.
However
, there have been
also
 ways to prevent environmental
damage
. The most significant of them is to raise a global awareness of the problem. If people gain a wider knowledge of our harmful impact on nature, they will be more sensitive and,
therefore
, less
damage
 will be caused.
Additionally
, a law should protect the environment in a more complex way. The only way to stop climate change is cooperation between governments from all over the world, which means a more radical punishment for companies contributing to environmental
damage
. In conclusion, factors
such
 as air and water pollution
as well as
 deforestation have a negative impact on the environment.
On the other hand
, raising awareness and imposing a penalty for companies responsible for it is the way to solve the problem.
Submitted by kuba.glogowski on

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task achievement
To further improve task achievement, you could incorporate more specific examples related to pollution and deforestation. Specific instances or data points can add depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well-developed. Occasionally, some points could be expanded to provide clearer connections between ideas.
task achievement
You have presented clear and comprehensive ideas, addressing both the causes and solutions related to environmental damage due to consumer goods production.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This enhances the flow and readability of your response.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported, providing a solid foundation for your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer consumption goods
  • natural environment
  • single-use products
  • waste
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • pollution
  • manufacturing processes
  • emissions
  • wastewater
  • landfill sites
  • habitat destruction
  • unsustainable use
  • natural resources
  • recycling
  • circular economy
  • stricter environmental regulations
  • eco-friendly materials
  • sustainable production methods
  • educating consumers
  • environmental impact
  • purchasing decisions
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