You recently attended a training course for your work. Your employer has asked you for your feedback on the training course. Write a letter to your employer. In your letter -Remind your employer what the course was about -Explain why the course was useful to you in your work -Suggest why the course may not be suitable for some of your other colleagues.
Dear Mr.Smith,
I am writing
this
letter to share my opinion about the recent educational workshop I had been to and how it proved to be a stepping stone in my career as a general dentist.
To begin
, the training was about the technological advancements in titanium dental implants and how this
upgraded version are
far Change the verb form
is
more
superior Correct quantifier usage
apply
than
Change preposition
to
the
regular stainless steel counterparts. I, not only attended the lectureChange the word
its
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
took part in the hands-on training, which was performed live on a patient.
The state-of-the-art knowledge and skills that I have learnt in this
course have played a pivotal role in advancement
of Add an article
the advancement
career
in implant dentistry. I am able to perform surgeries with much more confidence and my patient satisfaction level has Correct pronoun usage
my career
also
greatly improved.
However
, I think this
coursework may not be of much value to the newly joined intern dentist because before using these advanced implants one requires experience and knowledge with
using Change preposition
of
the
regular stainless steel implants.
I am looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Dr.Nirav PatelCorrect article usage
apply
Submitted by niravfb1987 on
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coherence cohesion
You've done an excellent job structuring your letter, with clear paragraphs each dedicated to a specific aspect of your feedback, making your letter both coherent and well-organized.
task achievement
Your letter effectively addresses all parts of the task with relevant details, such as the type of training course, its usefulness to you, and why it might not suit others.
coherence cohesion
For an even higher score, consider adding more varied sentence structures and use a wider range of vocabulary to express your opinions and suggestions more vividly.
task achievement
While your writing tone is generally suitable, slightly more formal phrases could enhance the professionalism of your letter.
coherence cohesion
Clear and logical structure of the letter.
task achievement
Effective task completion with relevant details.
task achievement
Appropriate writing tone is mostly maintained throughout.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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