Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters(such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
In today’s society, people have significantly divergent perspectives on education. The question of whether letting
children
decide routine matters by themselves may foster a self-centered
character or is crucial for Change the spelling
self-centred
children
's development has become a considerable debate. This
essay will outline both viewpoints, and I agree with the latter opinion.
On one hand, proponents argue that giving children
the freedom to choose, such
as selecting tools, technological products, and clothes, may lead to materialism and selfishness. They contend that when children
's decisions are based solely on their wishes, without considering other people’s perspectives, needs, and emotions, it results in a lack of empathy and disregard for others. This
, in turn, may lead to difficulties in collaboration and hinder their social skills in the long run.
On the other hand
, some advocates assert that making their own choices plays a key role in fostering responsibility in children
, as they may consider carefully before making a decision and avoid impulsive behaviors
. Change the spelling
behaviours
This
not only improves their critical thinking but also
fosters a level of independence, both of which are pivotal components of people’s lives. Moreover
, in the process of making choices, children
also
discover their preferences and hobbies, resulting in a deeper understanding of themselves.
For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that while
children
making their own choices in daily life may cause certain concerning issues, it is essential for them to develop cognitive skills, gain insight into their inclinations, and build a foundation of responsibility, all of which pave the way for becoming thoughtful and capable adults and for providing a meaningful and enjoyable lifeSubmitted by zora840810 on
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task achievement
While the essay does discuss both viewpoints as required, it could benefit from more specific examples to support the arguments. Providing concrete instances can help illustrate the points more vividly.
clarity of ideas
Clarify and expand upon certain ideas. For instance, the discussion about materialism and selfishness could include more detailed exploration of how specific choices (like types of clothes or entertainment) can lead to those traits.
coherence and cohesion
Attempt to vary sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement. While currently clear, more complexity in the sentence formation can elevate the essay's overall quality.
structure
The essay has a clear and coherent structure, with a strong introduction and conclusion that effectively encapsulate the main argument.
clarity
The main points of both sides of the argument are clearly presented and well-balanced, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
language
The language used is appropriate and the essay is generally free of grammatical errors, which enhances readability and comprehension.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.