At present, the media affects people’s lives significantly. What impact does this have on society? Is it a negative or positive development?

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The
media
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has a significant impact on the way
people
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live their lives.
This
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essay will discuss how the
media
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shapes how
people
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think about
the
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apply
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world events, and I believe that
this
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is a negative development because it endangers
democracy
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. A major impact of the
media
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is that it affects how
people
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interpret things happening in the world. Most
people
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take the news at face value and do not think about it very critically.
This
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leads to them believing everything they read or hear and can result in them having a distorted view of key issues. Take the current refugee crisis as an example, where,
as a result
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of how refugees were represented in the UK news,
people
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came to view them as ‘migrants’ who were looking to overrun the UK and take advantage of its economic prosperity, when in reality, these
people
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were simply fleeing war-torn countries.
This
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distortion of events is very dangerous for
democracy
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. Governments and corporations can influence the
media
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and get them to spin a narrative that suits their agenda. A healthy
democracy
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must have a free press
that is
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critical of the state and big business, and if it does not,
democracy
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will be in peril.
For example
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, it is widely known that certain networks in the USA regularly tell lies about the Democratic Party and seek to support the Republican Party, which is very disturbing, considering that tens of millions of
people
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tune in to networks every day. In conclusion, the
media
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affects our view of the world by telling us what to think, and I think
this
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is a negative development because it poses a very real threat to
democracy
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.

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task achievement
While your essay is well-structured and clear, consider strengthening your argument by providing more diverse examples or statistical evidence to support how media distortion affects democracy.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more transitional phrases to ensure a smoother flow between your points. For instance, phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'Moreover' can be used to link ideas more cohesively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, ensuring that your argument is well-framed from start to finish.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples, such as the refugee crisis example, which effectively illustrate your points.
task achievement
The main ideas in your essay are clear and comprehensive, making your stance easy to understand.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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