IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that preserving the natural environment is vital, whereas, most make no effort to do so. Why do you think this is happening? What are some simple actions that could help the environment? e

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Some individuals advocate for the protection of the natural environment,
while
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 others are disregarded.
This
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 essay will explore the causes of
this
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 approach and mention some practices that have immense impacts on protecting
nature
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, some people are not concerned about wildlife, and sometimes their actions are detrimental to the planet.
This
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 perspective may come from self-centeredness and an absence of insight into the importance of a healthy environment.
For instance
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, some people cut trees and accelerate the deforestation phenomenon With commercial aims, regardless of the destruction of Flora, and fauna inhabitants,
furthermore
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, there are those who throw their litter into
nature
Use synonyms
while
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 they don’t know how long waste decomposition takes time and what consequences they may lead.
Therefore
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, governments can implement some policies and regulations in order to protect
nature
Use synonyms
 from these destructions.
Additionally
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, they can enhance general awareness through media and publicity for public participation.
furthermore
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, new incentives can offer impetus to people in terms of the human burden of preserving
nature
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.
For example
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, considerable penalties can be employed to avoid illegal demolishing of
nature
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, and encountering students with obligations to keep the earth healthy through schools and social media will be efficient.
Also
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, electric vehicles can be tax-free to motivate individuals to use these cars which leads to a decrease in carbon monoxide emissions.
To sum up
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,
however
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, some individuals are oblivious to the environment
due to
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 selfishness and unawareness of its significance, implementing policies and regulations can compel them to adhere to responsibility for the planet.

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task achievement
Consider working on elaborating your main points with more specific examples to enhance clarity and depth.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the flow between your ideas. Using more transitional phrases can help with this.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph follows a logical order and contributes to your overall argument efficiently.
task achievement
You have addressed both parts of the task comprehensively, offering reasons for people's behavior and suggesting solutions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You present understandable and suitably developed ideas, which make your argument easy to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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