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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

#people #money #future
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Saving
money
 is essential for everyone, especially for young
people
, as it helps prepare them for their future. I overwhelmingly agree with
this
 mindset. One of the significant benefits of saving
money
 is that it empowers individuals to pursue their dreams and goals of upward mobility without being burdened by constant financial challenges. By having a safety net, young
people
 can take risks, invest in their education, or start their own ventures, all of which contribute to personal and professional growth.
Moreover
, saving enhances their confidence, allowing them to become more independent in the future. With financial stability, they can engage in a variety of activities that help shape their lives and aspirations. I firmly believe that saving
also
 fosters a more budget-conscious mindset. It encourages young
people
 to avoid overspending on unnecessary items and improves their awareness of the importance of
money
 management.
This
 financial literacy shapes them to strive for their best, instilling habits that will serve them well throughout their lives.
Moreover
, it teaches them to be more patient, as they learn that achieving goals often requires time and careful planning.
This
 patience can lead to more thoughtful decision-making, ultimately benefiting their long-term financial health and personal
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
. In conclusion,
while
 some
people
 argue that parents are responsible for their children's expenses, I completely reject
this
 notion. Relying solely on parents can hinder personal growth and discourage young
people
 from understanding the importance of managing their own
money
.
This
 dependency can lead to a lack of initiative and responsibility, potentially resulting in a generation of individuals who are less motivated and more inclined to take their financial stability for granted. Encouraging young
people
 to take charge of their finances is crucial for fostering independence and resilience in an ever-changing world.
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relevant specific examples
Include more specific examples or scenarios to fully illustrate your points, especially regarding how saving can empower young people.
introduction conclusion present
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
logical structure
You have provided a compelling argument in favor of the importance of saving money, supported by logical reasoning and ideas.
clear comprehensive ideas
The emphasis on fostering budget consciousness and patience through saving is a strong point showcasing comprehensive ideas around the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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