IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries today people are living in poverty. Why is this the case. And what can be done to solve the problem?

#countries #people #poverty #case
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Extreme
poverty
 is one of the economic crises in many countries today. Major population of the world is either on the
poverty
 line or below it where they don’t have access to even the basic amenities of life
such
 as food, shelter, clothing, primary health and primary education; which all are needed to live a normal basic life. Richer is getting richer and Poorer is becoming poorer day by day because of the lack of
facilities
 and job opportunities available to them. The increasing rate of population is one of the main reasons. Even though the
facilities
 are available in some areas
apply
Verb problem
apply
show examples
due to
apply
Verb problem
apply
show examples
inflation and illiteracy, people remain deprived of all the
facilities
.
This
 increases the regional and economic disparities between rich and poor. A recent report showed that 65 per cent of the population below the
poverty
 line is struggling for basic needs to
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
 fulfilled. The
government
 plays a crucial role in improving the condition of poor people and eradicating
poverty
 from the
society
. It can impose higher taxes on
rich
Correct article usage
the rich
show examples
 and can spent on the welfare of the poorer sections of the
society
 through various schemes and programmes
such
 as the Employment generation scheme and
poverty
 elimination programme.
Besides
, the
government
 can
also
 provide vocational training to students free of cost by developing various educational institutions in backward areas.
This
 training and education would provide future policymakers with exciting and inspiring opportunities to take up various jobs and
thus
, contribute to the betterment of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society
. In apply light of
this
 evidence, it is undeniable that the
government
 and other affluents must take necessary steps to reduce the gap between the rich and poor. The
government
 must ensure that the weaker sections of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 are not deprived of the
facilities
 and amenities available to them.
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task achievement
Ensure your essay directly addresses all parts of the prompt. Clearly state why poverty exists and provide more detailed solutions.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs and within paragraphs. Use more cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases, to link ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Expand on your main points with specific examples and evidence. This will strengthen your arguments and show a deeper level of analysis.
task achievement
The introduction effectively sets the context of the essay by stating the prevalence of poverty and its impact on basic human needs.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively sums up the main points and restates the importance of government and affluent individuals taking action against poverty.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic disparity
  • unequal distribution of resources
  • financial instability
  • cost of living
  • wage increases
  • ineffective government policies
  • corrupt government policies
  • globalization
  • job losses
  • wage reductions
  • healthcare expenses
  • social inequality
  • discrimination
  • job opportunities
  • earning potential
What to do next:
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