IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#visitors #attractions
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Currently,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 abroad has become a trend. Some people suggest that foreign
visitors
Use synonyms
 should pay more than local
visitors
Use synonyms
 for cultural and historical attractions. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion for several reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is not necessary to charge international
tourists
Use synonyms
 more money because they have made a big contribution to the local economy. Foreign
visitors
Use synonyms
 often purchase many local products and souvenirs, and it enhances the improvement of local industry.
For example
Linking Words
, more local people choose to open restaurants and shops beside Suzhou rivers since there are millions of
tourists
Use synonyms
 from different countries.
Also
Linking Words
, charging foreigners the same
price
Use synonyms
 will help the local government collect enough money to protect historical attractions. A fair
price
Use synonyms
 will attract more people from other countries to visit and increase tourism income, and local governments can spend a part of their income on the protection of historical buildings.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a higher charge for international
tourists
Use synonyms
 will harm the local reputation. If
tourists
Use synonyms
 realize that they need to pay more than local citizens, they will think they are not respected and be reluctant to travel to
this
Linking Words
 country.
For instance
Linking Words
, I was charged three times more than local residents, and I decided not to travel to
this
Linking Words
 country again. At the same time, it will be difficult to promote local culture and history at a higher
price
Use synonyms
 for foreign
tourists
Use synonyms
. International
visitors
Use synonyms
 will be unwilling to learn more about the local culture and history because they need to spend a lot. In conclusion, it is incorrect to charge foreign
tourists
Use synonyms
 more because they can improve the local economy, and
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fair
price
Use synonyms
 can maintain a good local reputation
as well as
Linking Words
 promote local culture.
Submitted by dingjc867328784 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
While the structure and coherence of the essay are generally strong, work on providing more detailed examples to further illustrate your points. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed the task by presenting a clear stance and supporting it with relevant examples. Try to elaborate a bit more on the examples to deepen your task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a single main point and supported by relevant examples.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the task, addressing the prompt directly and presenting a clear position.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, showing an understanding of the topic.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: