IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Currently,
traveling
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travelling
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 abroad has become a trend. Some people suggest that foreign
visitors
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 should pay more than local
visitors
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 for cultural and historical attractions. I completely disagree with
this
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 opinion for several reasons.
To begin
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 with, it is not necessary to charge international
tourists
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 more money because they have made a big contribution to the local economy. Foreign
visitors
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 often purchase many local products and souvenirs, and it enhances the improvement of local industry.
For example
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, more local people choose to open restaurants and shops beside Suzhou rivers since there are millions of
tourists
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 from different countries.
Also
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, charging foreigners the same
price
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 will help the local government collect enough money to protect historical attractions. A fair
price
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 will attract more people from other countries to visit and increase tourism income, and local governments can spend a part of their income on the protection of historical buildings.
On the other hand
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, a higher charge for international
tourists
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 will harm the local reputation. If
tourists
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 realize that they need to pay more than local citizens, they will think they are not respected and be reluctant to travel to
this
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 country.
For instance
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, I was charged three times more than local residents, and I decided not to travel to
this
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 country again. At the same time, it will be difficult to promote local culture and history at a higher
price
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 for foreign
tourists
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. International
visitors
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 will be unwilling to learn more about the local culture and history because they need to spend a lot. In conclusion, it is incorrect to charge foreign
tourists
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 more because they can improve the local economy, and
the
Correct article usage
a
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 fair
price
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 can maintain a good local reputation
as well as
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 promote local culture.

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coherence cohesion
While the structure and coherence of the essay are generally strong, work on providing more detailed examples to further illustrate your points. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed the task by presenting a clear stance and supporting it with relevant examples. Try to elaborate a bit more on the examples to deepen your task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a single main point and supported by relevant examples.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the task, addressing the prompt directly and presenting a clear position.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, showing an understanding of the topic.
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