IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to study/work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter: describe the situation explain your problems and why it is difficult to study/work say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to complain about my recent roommate. Currently, I am facing some issues related to my accommodation. My roommate always disturbs me. Sometimes, she plays loud music late at night which distracts me a lot.
Apart from
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this
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, she does not maintain a clean
room
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. Mostly, she leaves the
room
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 dirty,
whereas
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 I am cleaning-friendly. I love maintaining my stuff all the time. I would like to share one more issue: she usually has parties every weekend with her friends; she brings her friends into the
room
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, and they disturb me a lot.
According to
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 college policy,
this
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 is not acceptable in the accommodation. I have tried many times to discuss these issues with her;
however
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, every time she ignores them and continues doing the same things. It is really hard for me to live with
such
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 an annoying person. I would like to request new accommodation for myself. I would definitely prefer a personal
room
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 or a
room
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 with a person who has a nature like mine—quiet and peaceful. I hope you understand my concerns. Yours sincerely, Neha.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider adding a brief introduction that outlines the main issues before diving into specifics. This helps provide a clearer structure.
task achievement
Try to elaborate a bit more on how these disturbances affect your ability to study or work. Providing specific examples can strengthen your argument.
suitable writing tone
The tone of the letter is polite and respectful, which is appropriate for a formal request.
complete response
You clearly describe the problems you are facing with your roommate, making your concerns understandable.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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