Some people say a car is the best way to travel through a city while others support traveling with bicycles. Discuss both sides and share your opinion.

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Choosing a vehicle to travel around the city is a controversial issue. Some
people
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say that
traveling
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travelling
show examples
by car is the best choice. Others believe that it would be better to use
bicycles
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. There are different views on both sides, which I will elaborate on below. On the one hand, proponents of
this
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issue argue that
cars
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are more convenient for long distances, inclement weather, and carrying heavy loads. By simply
refueling
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refuelling
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the car,
people
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can go everywhere just by stepping on the car’s pedal.
In addition
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,
cars
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provide comfort and safety, especially in less developed infrastructure.
Cars
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’ design is made to be as comfortable as possible, so
people
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like
cars
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more than other vehicles.
For instance
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, car purchases in Indonesia are increasing because
people
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want transportation that provides privacy.
On the other hand
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, opponents of
this
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view assume that
bicycles
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are more environmentally friendly and promote physical health. Compared to other vehicles,
bicycles
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do not use gasoline, so they do not produce pollution.
Furthermore
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,
bicycles
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are cost-effective and save on fuel costs and parking fees.
This
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is an excellent choice to use a bike because the costs that were previously used to buy gasoline can be allocated for another need. In conclusion, it seems that it depends on your needs.
Cars
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can be used if you want to take a long trip and bring many
people
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.
Bicycles
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can be used only for short trips and for more economical
people
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.

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, ensure your ideas are fully developed with more detailed examples or explanations. This helps in making your arguments more convincing and your essay comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs to improve the overall flow of the essay. This can be done by using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensuring there are no abrupt changes in thought.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly sets out the topic and scope of the essay. Well done!
logical structure
The essay structure is logical, and main points are generally well-supported. This shows a good understanding of how to organize your arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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