IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

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Given the growing prominence of electric
cars
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, they should be considered as a substitute for traditional
cars
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 powered by fossil
fuels
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. I completely agree with the statement because traditional
cars
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 produce high quantities of pollution, and the production of fossil
fuels
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 uses natural resources that are not limitless.
Cars
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 produce emissions of air pollutants that affect the ozone layer. There are some chemical by-products
such
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 as the carbon dioxide from the burning of fossil
fuels
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 that interact and remain trapped in the ozone layer.
As a result
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, the heat of the earth is not released into the spaces,
instead
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, it is retained in the earth, generating higher temperatures that affect the natural dynamics of ecosystems.
For instance
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, some research has shown that
due to
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 the increase in temperatures, the ice on the poles is melting more rapidly,
therefore
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 many species are not longing to have a habitat that allows them to continue with their natural cycle.
Furthermore
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, many natural resources are spent or affected by the production and transportation of fossil
fuels
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. During oil transportation, some spills generate contaminated areas of land and water that are almost impossible to recuperate affecting the ecosystem, and even generating other environmental problems
such
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 as fires. As an example, the transportation of oil is commonly done near the Caribbean Ocean,
however
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, there have been reported spills into the ocean.
To conclude
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, the use of electric
cars
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 may reduce the negative effects on the environment produced by all the
cars
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 that burn fossil
fuels
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, including the high temperatures of climate change, and
also
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 the loss of biodiversity and habitats
due to
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 the processes to obtain those
fuels
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.

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task achievement
For task response, your essay addresses the question and aligns well with the topic of replacing fossil fuel cars with electric ones. However, to improve, aim to expand on your arguments with detailed examples and further reasoning, showing a more comprehensive understanding of the subject matter. Ensuring a full exploration of the implications, including possible counterarguments and their refutations, could enhance your score.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear logical structure with a defined introduction and conclusion. To elevate the score in coherence and cohesion, work on creating smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs with varied and precise linking words. Additionally, maintain a clear and consistent topic throughout each paragraph to guide the reader smoothly through your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gases
  • climate change
  • sustainable
  • renewable
  • electric vehicles
  • battery technology
  • charging infrastructure
  • range anxiety
  • government support
  • incentives
  • subsidies
  • renewable energy
  • environmental impact
  • energy efficiency
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