Some people think that enjoying the present is more important than planning for the future for both countries and individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some
people
believe that living in the moment is more essential than planning for the Use synonyms
future
for both countries and individuals. Use synonyms
While
enjoying the present can make Linking Words
people
satisfied immediately, I believe planning for the Use synonyms
future
can bring us Use synonyms
a
long-term success and stability.
For individuals, living the presents can lead to a happier life, Remove the article
apply
such
as spending quality time with Linking Words
beloved
ones, taking spontaneous Correct your spelling
loved
trip
, pursuing Fix the agreement mistake
trips
hobby
, and other things that can make us delighted. Fix the agreement mistake
hobbies
This
kind of activity can contribute to our less Linking Words
stress
experiences and Replace the word
stressful
overall
well-being. Linking Words
However
, Linking Words
this
approach has its limitations. Linking Words
People
need to prepare their Use synonyms
better
Correct article usage
a better
future
to face Use synonyms
a
significant challenges Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
such
as financial ability, career progress, and health issues. Linking Words
Similarly
, for countries, focusing on the present can make a short-term gain, but may Linking Words
be
Change the verb form
result
result
Add the preposition
result in
result from
a long-term problems
. Correct the article-noun agreement
long-term problems
a long-term problem
For instance
, a country that spends excessively on present-day consumption without investing in sustainable energy sources might face severe environmental and economic consequences in the Linking Words
future
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, an over-focus on the Linking Words
future
can bring Use synonyms
people
full of anxiety and Use synonyms
curious
. The Replace the word
curiosity
worriness
can lead to missing the present and opportunities. Correct your spelling
worries
Similarly
, the government that only Linking Words
plan
for the Correct subject-verb agreement
plans
future
can miss the current needs and welfare of the citizens. Use synonyms
Therefore
, a balanced approach that values both present enjoyment and Linking Words
future
planning is crucial.
Use synonyms
Overall
, a balanced approach that incorporates mindful present living with thoughtful Linking Words
future
planning can lead to a more fulfilling and secure life for individuals and a more prosperous and resilient society for countries.Use synonyms
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task achievement
While the essay is generally well-structured, providing more specific examples can strengthen the argument. For example, citing a specific country that has balanced present enjoyment with future planning would provide a stronger support for your points.
coherence cohesion
There are minor grammatical issues and awkward phrasings that can be improved. For example, use 'living in the present' instead of 'living the presents'. Also, 'full of anxiety and curious' should be 'full of anxiety and curiosity'.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarize your position.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically organized, making your argument clear and easy to follow.
task achievement
You have a well-rounded argument that acknowledges both sides of the issue, which adds depth to your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example