Some people think that enjoying the present is more important than planning for the future for both countries and individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #future #countries #individuals

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Some

people

believe that living in the moment is more essential than planning for the

future

for both countries and individuals.

While

enjoying the present can make

people

satisfied immediately, I believe planning for the

future

can bring us

Remove the article

apply

show examples

long-term success and stability. For individuals, living the presents can lead to a happier life,

such

as spending quality time with

beloved

Correct your spelling

loved

show examples

ones, taking spontaneous

trip

Fix the agreement mistake

trips

show examples

, pursuing

hobby

Fix the agreement mistake

hobbies

show examples

, and other things that can make us delighted.

This

kind of activity can contribute to our less

stress

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stressful

show examples

experiences and

overall

well-being.

However

this

approach has its limitations.

People

need to prepare their

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

future

to face

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

significant challenges

such

as financial ability, career progress, and health issues.

Similarly

, for countries, focusing on the present can make a short-term gain, but may

Change the verb form

result

show examples

result

Add the preposition

result in

result from

show examples

a long-term problems

Correct the article-noun agreement

long-term problems

a long-term problem

show examples

For instance

, a country that spends excessively on present-day consumption without investing in sustainable energy sources might face severe environmental and economic consequences in the

future

On the other hand

, an over-focus on the

future

can bring

people

full of anxiety and

curious

Replace the word

curiosity

show examples

. The

worriness

Correct your spelling

worries

can lead to missing the present and opportunities.

Similarly

, the government that only

plan

Correct subject-verb agreement

plans

show examples

for the

future

can miss the current needs and welfare of the citizens.

Therefore

, a balanced approach that values both present enjoyment and

future

planning is crucial.

Overall

, a balanced approach that incorporates mindful present living with thoughtful

future

planning can lead to a more fulfilling and secure life for individuals and a more prosperous and resilient society for countries.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Tue Jul 09 2024

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task achievement

While the essay is generally well-structured, providing more specific examples can strengthen the argument. For example, citing a specific country that has balanced present enjoyment with future planning would provide a stronger support for your points.

coherence cohesion

There are minor grammatical issues and awkward phrasings that can be improved. For example, use 'living in the present' instead of 'living the presents'. Also, 'full of anxiety and curious' should be 'full of anxiety and curiosity'.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarize your position.

coherence cohesion

The main points are logically organized, making your argument clear and easy to follow.

task achievement

You have a well-rounded argument that acknowledges both sides of the issue, which adds depth to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Present enjoyment
Future planning
Long-term satisfaction
Short-term gratification
Economic planning
Infrastructure development
Spontaneity
Immediate pleasures
Balanced approach
Mindfulness
Strategic foresight
Anticipation
Well-being
Present-mindedness
Prosperity

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Some people think that enjoying the present is more important than planning for the future for both countries and individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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There is a problem with the changing rooms in the sports centre that you visit. You have complained several times but with no success. •describe what the problem with the changing rooms is • say what happened the last times you complained • explain what you want the manager to do.