Some people believe that we should reduce air traveling for ecological reasons. Do you think that this would be a positive or negative development and how it could it be achieved?
People think that individuals should decrease
number
of Change the article
the number
Add an article
the plane
a plane
plane
in Fix the agreement mistake
planes
sky
for ecological problems. Add an article
the sky
This
action leads to Add an article
an economical
the economical
economical
crisis Replace the word
economic
of
many Change preposition
in
countries
and increases number
of other methods of transportation which are more harmful and dangerous for ecology.
The first thing to note is that most Change the article
the number
countries
make money from air
traveling
if we reduce Replace the word
travel
air
travel this
phenomenon could create huge issues for countries
which are dependent on air
transportation. For
example
Add a comma
example,
dubai
most money Change noun form
dubai's
makes
from Wrong verb form
is made
traveling
by plane and tourism if we reduce Change the spelling
travelling
traveling
amount of people who come to visit Add an article
the traveling
this
area also
will
reduce.
Verb problem
apply
Moreover
, with decreasing
number of planes government may manufacture more cars and buses which Correct article usage
a decreasing
are
consume more oil to replace planes. Unnecessary verb
apply
Additionally
cars are more harmful and dangerous than Add a comma
Additionally,
air
transportAdd the comma(s)
, for instance,
for instance
scientists find
out that people are risking more to die on roads whereby in Wrong verb form
have found
sky
.
Add an article
the sky
To sum
up
everything that has been written before Add a comma
up,
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
air
traveling
will lead to the fact that a lot of Change the spelling
travelling
countries
will suffer from economical
problems or Replace the word
economic
creates
other issues which can be risky for humansCorrect subject-verb agreement
create
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grammatical accuracy
Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. There are some grammatical issues and awkward phrasing that affect clarity. For example, instead of saying 'most countries make money from air traveling,' you could say 'many countries generate significant revenue from air travel.'
supported main points
Include more specific examples and data to support your points. Rather than general statements like 'most countries make money from air traveling,' provide specific data or more detailed examples of how this impacts various countries.
supported main points
Try to elaborate more on how replacing planes with cars and buses might be more harmful to the environment. Adding data or further explanation would strengthen this argument.
logical structure
The essay has clear main points, which are well-organized into paragraphs. Each paragraph addresses a distinct idea related to the main argument, making it easier for the reader to follow.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively outline and summarize the main arguments, respectively, which contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.