Many students like to get involved in extra- curricular activities at university such as social clubs and sports. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In
this
modern era, There are numerous
students
who tend to be in extra-curricular at their university like social clubs and sports. I personally believe that
this
approach can have many advantages and disadvantages,
in other words
,
this
is two sides of a penny but in my personal perspective, the advantages of
this
approach outweigh the disadvantages
due to
reasons that will be discussed in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, the
students
who have attended extra-curricular
activities
can develop their soft skills
such
as communication skills, improvement their teamwork and leadership.
furthermore
, mental and physical well-being progressed with these
activities
,
for instance
, during contribution to social clubs
due to
meeting different peers with diverse beliefs, the
students
can learn how to communicate with other
students
and they can flourish their abilities like teamwork or leadership which are so valuable in the workplace. engaging in sports can alleviate their stress and improve their physical fitness as well.
on the other hand
, drawbacks of being in an extra-curricular programme can be the consumption of student's time
whereas
they can spend their time studying their lessons
instead
of wasting their time on extra
activities
. The other disadvantageous could be a financial strain,
for example
, some
activities
might require membership fees, equipment purchases, or travel expenses that not all
students
can afford.
To conclude
,
while
extracurricular
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
advantageous in terms of the development of soft skills and the promotion of physical and mental health, they lead to consumption times and financial problems
thus
universities should encourage
students
to contribute to these
activities
.
Submitted by sbehravan141 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance your essay, you might consider improving logical structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea that connects smoothly to the next. This can help in maintaining a clear flow of ideas throughout.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or evidence to support your main points. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments, thus improving task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Consider refining your language to improve coherence, ensuring transitional phrases and terms connect ideas clearly and logically.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents both advantages and disadvantages of participating in extracurricular activities, showing a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a strong introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well and summarising the key points effectively.
task achievement
The discussion includes relevant perspectives, touching on valuable skill development and potential financial strains, reflecting a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • interpersonal skills
  • teamwork
  • networking
  • time management
  • physical fitness
  • stress reduction
  • commitment
  • diverse interests
  • distraction
  • academic performance
  • overcommitment
  • burnout
  • financial strain
  • exclusivity
  • discrimination
What to do next:
Look at other essays: