It is important important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future .To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Saving
money
for their
future
is essential for everyone including youngsters .I agree with
this
statement as financial planning and saving at a young
age
so that it
is provide
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provides
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Correct article usage
a positively
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positively
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positive
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impact once life in
long
Add an article
the long
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term.
To begin
with, there are multiple agreements behind by youngsters should save
money
for their
future
. The first and formal reason is ,
saving
Correct word choice
that saving
show examples
at a young
age
enables individuals to build a saving buffer for an expected situation and emergencies. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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,
these
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this
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financial stability provides a sense of security and
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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stress and
also
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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the power
of
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apply
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during challenging times
such
as unemployment time and health issues.
For example
, in India many youngsters
to
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apply
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save
money
in
bank
Add an article
the bank
show examples
.So that ,whenever they
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
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their job
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
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it is helpful in that situation.
Therefore
, reserved funds can navigate an expected task more confidently
solve
Verb problem
apply
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focusing on recovery and
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
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solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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rather than immediate financial pressure.
Furthermore
,younger individuals can save
money
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at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
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early
age
in any bank and
also
they say only
small
Correct article usage
a small
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amount but after many years,banks give better interest on that small amount
so that
Correct word choice
apply
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,
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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can pave the way for achieving
long termed
Correct your spelling
long-term
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financial goals
such
as homeownership ,education and other plants .
Hance
Correct your spelling
Hence
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,
while
Correct word choice
apply
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saving
money
for the
future
is highly beneficial.
To conclude
,
although
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
saving
money
from a young
age
is a prudent financial habit that fosters financial security, stability and growth.So, it is a well-being for the
future
.
Submitted by jankibrahmbhatt2411 on

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task response
To improve your task response, ensure your arguments are more developed and supported by concrete examples. For instance, instead of just mentioning India and job loss, provide a specific statistic or study to strengthen your point.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, work on creating clearer connections between your paragraphs. Use transition words such as 'as a result,' 'additionally,' or 'moreover' to better link your ideas together.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the key points discussed in the body paragraphs to reinforce your argument. Avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in giving your essay a structured flow.
task achievement
You effectively mention the importance of saving money at a younger age and how it can lead to financial stability and growth.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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