On the one hand, it is essential for people to take wits. There are more hazards in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
all
aspeeds
Correct your spelling
areas
of life, like
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
work,
home
Correct word choice
and home
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
One of the selling of toking hazard will be the climbing
ledders
Correct your spelling
ladders
leaders
lenders
in personal
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
. I can say all jobs ger competitive employees and they must
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
brave to take
rises
Correct your spelling
risks
show examples
.
Further
Linking Words
. nore, taking rises
con
Correct your spelling
can
show examples
protect people from death.
In many
Change preposition
Many
show examples
times
depent
Correct your spelling
depend
dependent
on lifestyle.
For instance
Linking Words
,
firefightees
Correct your spelling
firefighters
can enter the fire
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
rescue
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
someone's life.
Body paragraph 3
On the other hand
Linking Words
, taking
harards
Correct your spelling
hazards
will
resulting
Wrong verb form
result
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
the unfailure.
Navadays
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
there are many gambling games, and so many
inch'viduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
believe they will win
monatory
Correct your spelling
monetary
monitory
va
Correct your spelling
via
these games. Fat
thes
Correct your spelling
this
reason, they put their
wealthy
Replace the word
wealth
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
thes
Correct your spelling
this
app and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
take
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
,
at the end
Linking Words
they
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
properties de money.
Conclusion
In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
the result of taking ves will be unfailure or
successil
Correct your spelling
successful
success
. Maybe taking
hazard
Fix the agreement mistake
hazards
show examples
will help
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
develop
Correct your spelling
their
the
thei
Correct your spelling
their careers
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
,
on
Correct word choice
but on
show examples
the
glip
Correct your spelling
flip
show examples
side it will be
reason
Add an article
the reason
a reason
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
death
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task achievement
The task achievement could be improved by providing more detailed, specific examples to support your points. Providing clearer, more comprehensive ideas will help in making your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion can be improved by better structuring your paragraphs with clear topic sentences and smoother transitions. This will make your essay flow more logically.
task achievement
You have identified the importance of taking risks in both professional and personal lives, which aligns well with the essay prompt.
coherence cohesion
You included an introduction and conclusion, which shows an understanding of essential essay structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Many individuals hold the opinion that one should focus on merely the theoretical understanding in educational institutions, whereas few of them want to have tangible expertise. From my perspective,both aspects play a crucial role in student's life while studying in education centres.
It is true that genetic engineering is a key area of modern scientific research, with broad implications for all human societies. While I accept that this field of technology may have its dangers, I believe that the benefits of genetic engineering outweigh the drawbacks.
Nowadays, a lot of teenagers prefer to work part-time jobs instead of studying and pay attention to the university. I totally disagree with this trend and think that the disadvantages of this trend overweight the advantages.
Nowadays, some people claim that governments should tax junk food to motivate people to eat healthier. I totally agree, that a tax on unhealthy food is necessary and a better way to create a healthy generation in future despite financial issues.
Whilst others think that when people having to move away from their acquaintances and families to find work could have many drawbacks, I believe that the advantages of such decisions are justifiable and would outweigh the disadvantages.