IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

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In the coming time,
individuals
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 would like to explore their native
country
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 during vacations
instead
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 of going to overseas
countries
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.
However
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, I completely disagree with the statement because other
countries
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 have a lot more to offer in terms of opportunities to gain knowledge
as well as
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 a chance to see different scenes as compared to the ones in their own
country
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. There is no doubt about the fact that abroad nations hold a lot of value when it comes to learning different languages, cultures, and traditions, which is only possible if
people
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will
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apply
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spend their holidays in other nations.
While
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 travelling abroad,
people
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 will meet native residents, and from
them
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them,
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 they will learn about their lifestyle.
Similarly
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,
individuals
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 will learn the local language of that
country
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while
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 talking to the local
people
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.
For example
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, most white
people
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 travel to India for vacations, and by the end of their trip, they start speaking some Hindi
as well as
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 becoming aware of the Indian culture.
Moreover
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, overseas
countries
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 give
people
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 a chance to witness something unique—
in other words
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, something
that is
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 not commonly seen in their own nation. Because every part of the world is different in terms of views, weather, environment, and architecture.
For instance
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,
individuals
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 from
countries
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 like India or Pakistan choose Canada as their winter holiday destination because they want to enjoy the snowy season because it is not usual in their native nation. In conclusion, to enjoy the holidays to the fullest,
individuals
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 should start considering foreign
countries
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 as their vacation spots.
This
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 way,
people
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 would have the chance to learn something valuable
as well as
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 capture some beautiful memories in different environments other than the usual ones, which they have been to multiple times in their own
country
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.

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task achievement
Your essay introduces a clear position in response to the prompt and maintains it throughout. However, there is room for improvement in the clarity and comprehensiveness of your arguments. Try to elaborate on your points more thoroughly and ensure all ideas are fully developed.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay is logically structured, some parts could benefit from smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will help in guiding the reader through your argument more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are clear, but there are moments where your sentences could be more precise. Work on varying your sentence structure and ensuring precision in your language to enhance clarity.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed the topic and provided relevant examples to support your arguments. This strengthens your response and makes your essay more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction and conclusion. This helps in providing a coherent flow to your argument.
task achievement
You have made good use of examples to illustrate your points, which adds depth to your arguments and makes them more convincing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
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