Some people think that internet is shrinking our world with its tremendous benefits. Others argue that it has major adverse consequences for the course of human civilization due to its negative effects on family relationship. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some
people
imply that our world is narrowened by the internet
's fabulous utilities,while
others suggest that it possesses major contrary outcomes in terms course of human civilization
due to
its negatory influences on family bonds.I believe internet
makes some sources convenient and accessible Add an article
the internet
besides
its many other pros,although
it also
aggravates human civilization
.
Nowadays,it is significantly effortless for mankind to obtain the information they require in addition
to socialising just by sending messages or doing facetimes
with each other.Correct your spelling
facetime
This
would eventually lead to shrinking as face to face
meetings became rare in Add a hyphen
face-to-face
this
society.Moreover
,internet
is not Add an article
the internet
distrubuted
evenly to all parts of the world because of some capitalist aspects and rules.In Africa,Correct your spelling
distributed
for instance
, a
widespread research was carried out relating to what Remove the article
apply
propotion
of humans have technological devices and can reach Correct your spelling
proportion
to
the Change preposition
apply
Internet
.Results
were devastating as only 5% of Correct article usage
The results
people
could access the Internet
.
In other words
,people
in Africa would not be able to put
account the gorgeous aspects of Verb problem
take into
Internet
.
Add an article
the Internet
On the other hand
,most of today's children are relatively addicted to Internet
which Add an article
the Internet
lead
to poor family relationships.Should not Change the verb form
leads
this
become a common concern for many families.
If I were them,I would restrict their use of Change the punctuation
?
Internet
as much as possible as Add an article
the Internet
this
would probably has
a negative impact on Change the verb form
have
civilization
.Based on a
research being carried out in recent Remove the article
apply
year
,it is observed that many children have been becoming respectless and thoughtless.Fix the agreement mistake
years
This
means when they grow up they would not have a good intention for his
Correct pronoun usage
their
civilization
because of the lack of respect and attention given.
In conclusion,I strongly contemplate
that Verb problem
believe
Internet
should be used ,because of its limitless benefits as soon as Correct article usage
the Internet
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
know how to stop it.However
,some countries is
not surely going to be capable of using Change the verb form
are
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
due to
poor conditions.Those people
would be poor and ignorant but they would become aware of themselves and their environment from their
early age.Change the word
an
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure the introduction clearly outlines both sides of the argument and concludes with a clear thesis statement that previews the structure of the essay. Your introduction jumps into the topic too quickly without smoothly setting up the context.
logical structure
Work on paragraph structure to enhance logical flow. Currently, the essay feels disjointed and jumps between points without clear transitions. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on the point.
supported main points
Ensure each main point is clearly supported with detailed examples or reasoning. The essay has some good examples, but they can be better developed to clearly tie back to the main argument or further illustrated with more relevant detail.
complete response
Clearly state your opinion and ensure it is consistently referred to throughout the essay. Reinforce your perspective in the conclusion by summarizing the main points you discussed and how they support your stance.
clear comprehensive ideas
Some parts of your essay could benefit from clearer phrasing and more coherent sentence structure. Work on expressing your ideas more clearly and concisely, and check your work for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.
complete response
You have demonstrated a good understanding of the topic and attempted to address both views, which is commendable.
relevant specific examples
The essay includes relevant examples, such as the reference to Africa which adds depth to your discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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