IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays many people choose to be self- employed rather that to work for a company or organisation what cloud be the disadvantages of being self employed

#people #self- #work #company #organisation #cloud #self
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, people tend to start their businesses
instead
Linking Words
 of doing a job because they will get all the benefits of their hard
work
Use synonyms
, not the
company
Use synonyms
 and it gives them the freedom to take risks and
work
Use synonyms
 at their own pace.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 freedom comes with several drawbacks like the financial crisis, workload, and managing people at
work
Use synonyms
 to get everything done in a smoother transition. The first and major disadvantage of being self-employed is to bear all the financial crisis on your own. If you are working in a
company
Use synonyms
 or an enterprise, and it suffers from a financial loss, it's up to the whole firm or the
company
Use synonyms
 to bear it and the employees don't suffer a lot. Sometimes they lose their salaries or jobs but they don't have to pay anything from their pocket to revive the
company
Use synonyms
 again.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, owning a
company
Use synonyms
 makes the owner
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
responsible
to pay
Change preposition
for paying
show examples
 pending dues and financial burdens. The stakeholders are always after the management and the owner to pay back their investments.
Secondly
Linking Words
, being self-employed one has to look for possible investments to make his/her
company
Use synonyms
 grow and stand among the competitors.
This
Linking Words
 requires a lot of hard
work
Use synonyms
, time, and mindwork to convince someone to spend their hard-earned money.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, they have to spend from their pocket to grow the
company
Use synonyms
 which is again a big financial decision that people avoid.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there is a ton of workload that comes with responsibility that requires to be managed in a certain way for them to be progressive in the field. Being the employee and employer has a variety of tasks and a tight schedule lined up.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if you are running a firm or a small start-up and have some employees working
under
Correct pronoun usage
under you
show examples
, you have to manage them and oversee their
work
Use synonyms
 as well.
This
Linking Words
 comes up with paying the salaries and managing their day-to-day progress in assigned tasks, dividing
work
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 their ability, and assigning duties and responsibilities. In conclusion, it seems to be a dream of everyone to be self-employed
instead
Linking Words
 of working but it comes with specific disadvantages
such
Linking Words
 as financial risks, getting investments, and workload which can't be ignored.
Submitted by amarjot755 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay addresses the disadvantages of self-employment, consider expanding your examples and details to provide a more comprehensive response for each point. This will enhance the relevancy and specificity of your examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is mostly coherent and well-organised. However, working on a clearer separation between the points in your body paragraphs would improve the logical flow. Each paragraph should ideally focus strongly on one primary point (financial crisis, workload, or employee management) to avoid any mix-up.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and align well with the essay topic. This framing adds a solid structure around your main points.
task achievement
You have clearly identified some of the major disadvantages of being self-employed, providing an overall complete response to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: