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Writing Samples
Band 7

Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the Internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schools #children #information #internet #study #home
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Some people think that children should not attend
school
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 because much information whether it is related to a subject or other details is available on the
Internet
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while
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 others think it is necessary for kids to attend
school
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. In
this
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 essay ,I will discuss both views with some examples from articles and the Newspaper.
To begin
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 with ,
School
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 is very important for each child because
school
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 is only the place where we learn subjective knowledge and many other skills
such
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 as communication ,confidence and sharing of things like books ,pencils etc which is helpful for them in future . Pupils can clarify their doubts from other
students
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 and teachers during lectures.
For example
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 , A recent survey done by the Times of India revealed that 80% of
school
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-attending children scored good marks as compared to online
students
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.
Secondly
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 , Nowadays there is no doubt ,that the
internet
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 is an important part of human beings. Our life is incomplete without
this
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. Actually, Scholars can save their travelling time if they are studying on the
Internet
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 but I believe they will lose more.
For Instance
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, Acamedic loss of
students
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 can happen during online classes because sometimes good connectivity of the
internet
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 is not available in remote areas .
In addition
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 , some
students
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 can not clarify their doubts with teachers
as a result
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 it will affect their marks.
Besides
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, Pupils can not enjoy their
school
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 days which is a very essential aspect of their liveliness. In conclusion , I totally agree that children should go to
school
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 on a daily basis because it not only helps to enhance their knowledge.
Furthermore
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 ,it will help to improve their
overall
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 personality
such
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 as how to live in society . As I mentioned earlier going to
school
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 is necessary for each scholar.
Submitted by preetiaug25 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Try to eliminate minor grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes for a more polished presentation.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, giving it a well-rounded structure.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, showing a balanced approach to task response.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as the survey by the Times of India, helps illustrate your points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • social development
  • fostering communication
  • personalized guidance
  • immediate feedback
  • replicated
  • structured environments
  • discipline
  • time management skills
  • extracurricular activities
  • nurture talents
  • inculcate
  • sense of community
  • shared learning experiences
  • equal access
  • learning opportunities
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