In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?
Traditional
festivals
and celebratios
show the country's Correct your spelling
celebrations
culture
. In the deveploed
world, people are forgetting their traditional functions and Correct your spelling
developed
celebrations
that was
Change the verb form
were
celebetared
years back. So let us discuss what are the problems causing and the measures to be taken to counter Correct your spelling
celebrated
this
situation.
In an
ancient Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
days
we Add a comma
days,
use
to have various Wrong verb form
used
festivals
and celebrations
which was
celebrated by our grandparents, but Correct subject-verb agreement
were
later
days in some countries Change preposition
in later
lot
of young Correct article usage
a lot
genetrations
Correct your spelling
generations
generation
are forgeting
Wrong verb form
forget
thier
traditions and Correct your spelling
their
culture
. This
is because of
not all Change preposition
apply
the
parents are Correct article usage
apply
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
to teach
their traditions to Change preposition
in teaching
the
Change the word
their
childern
, and Correct your spelling
children
other
main reason is Change the wording
another
the
Gen Correct determiner usage
that
Z's
are working far from their native place or from their Change noun form
Z
family
to Fix the agreement mistake
families
earm
money. If Correct your spelling
earn
this
continues like this
there will not be any festivals
or celebrations
for our future generations.
Firstly
, this
problem can be solved by staying with our family and having spend time with our loved ones, or we can solve this
atleast
by teaching the tradition to our Correct your spelling
at least
childern
. Correct your spelling
children
Secondly
, we can creat
Correct your spelling
create
a
social media Correct article usage
apply
awarness
and Correct your spelling
awareness
sharing
more posts related to Wrong verb form
share
the
traditional Correct article usage
apply
festivals
and celebrations
which wil
allow the Correct your spelling
will
youngstres
to watch and motivate them to learn about their Correct your spelling
youngsters
youngster
culture
.
In Conclusion, I suggest that everyone should spend ateast
some time Correct your spelling
at least
to learn
or to know about their Change the verb form
learning
culture
, in this
way our tarditional
Correct your spelling
traditional
festival
and Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
celebrations
will not be disappeared.Submitted by insighttribez on
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task response
You have addressed the task effectively, but try to provide more specific examples in your essay to illustrate your points. This will make your arguments more compelling.
task response
Work on developing your main ideas with more depth and provide a greater range of vocabulary to express your thoughts clearly. This will help in achieving a higher score.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using more varied linking words and phrases can help with this.
coherence cohesion
Expand the introduction to give more background before introducing the main points, and ensure your conclusion summarizes the key points effectively.
task response
You have correctly identified the main issues regarding the disappearance of traditional festivals and have proposed viable solutions.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and offers a suggestion for preserving traditional festivals.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.