In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

Traditional
festivals
and
celebratios
Correct your spelling
celebrations
show the country's
culture
. In the
deveploed
Correct your spelling
developed
world, people are forgetting their traditional functions and
celebrations
that
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
celebetared
Correct your spelling
celebrated
years back. So let us discuss what are the problems causing and the measures to be taken to counter
this
situation. In
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
ancient
days
Add a comma
days,
show examples
we
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
to have various
festivals
and
celebrations
which
was
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were
show examples
celebrated by our grandparents, but
later
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in later
show examples
days in some countries
lot
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a lot
show examples
of young
genetrations
Correct your spelling
generations
generation
are forgeting
Wrong verb form
forget
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
traditions and
culture
.
This
is because
of
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apply
show examples
not all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents are
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
to teach
Change preposition
in teaching
show examples
their traditions to
the
Change the word
their
show examples
childern
Correct your spelling
children
, and
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
main reason is
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
Gen
Z's
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Z
show examples
are working far from their native place or from their
family
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families
show examples
to
earm
Correct your spelling
earn
money. If
this
continues like
this
there will not be any
festivals
or
celebrations
for our future generations.
Firstly
,
this
problem can be solved by staying with our family and having spend time with our loved ones, or we can solve
this
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
by teaching the tradition to our
childern
Correct your spelling
children
.
Secondly
, we can
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
and
sharing
Wrong verb form
share
show examples
more posts related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional
festivals
and
celebrations
which
wil
Correct your spelling
will
allow the
youngstres
Correct your spelling
youngsters
youngster
to watch and motivate them to learn about their
culture
. In Conclusion, I suggest that everyone should spend
ateast
Correct your spelling
at least
some time
to learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
or to know about their
culture
, in
this
way our
tarditional
Correct your spelling
traditional
festival
Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
show examples
and
celebrations
will not be disappeared.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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task response
You have addressed the task effectively, but try to provide more specific examples in your essay to illustrate your points. This will make your arguments more compelling.
task response
Work on developing your main ideas with more depth and provide a greater range of vocabulary to express your thoughts clearly. This will help in achieving a higher score.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using more varied linking words and phrases can help with this.
coherence cohesion
Expand the introduction to give more background before introducing the main points, and ensure your conclusion summarizes the key points effectively.
task response
You have correctly identified the main issues regarding the disappearance of traditional festivals and have proposed viable solutions.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and offers a suggestion for preserving traditional festivals.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traditional festivals
  • heritage
  • cultural identity
  • folklore
  • cultural tourism
  • intergenerational
  • homogenization
  • commercialization
  • intangible cultural heritage
  • community engagement
  • awareness
  • revitalize
  • cultural diversity
  • educational programs
  • governmental support
  • logistical support
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