In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way why is this? do you think it is positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently, the
company
has stressed that its
product
is the latest in many aspects of its advertisement. It is often agreed by many that ads are one of the best media to introduce products to customers. In my opinion, advertising
company
should not only improve their campaign strategy
instead
of elevate the quality of their goods.
This
essay will address the positive side of the writer’s view. Promotion is one of the important weapons in spreading a
product
to people, especially to newcomer products.
For instance
, in the early entry market, a
company
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to invest the majority of its money on a mass campaign to get
customer’s
Fix the agreement mistake
customers’
show examples
attention on what it offers to them. Once a
company
insists on entering the market, it should bear all the consequences which might occur later.
Therefore
, enterprises should pay attention to
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the competitive advantage and think of the extraordinary in their stuff compared to the rival items.
However
, the owner should make sure the quality of the
product
is genuine and truthful. After an initial stage which is
product
introduction, the
company
needs to attain loyal customers
as a result
of a customer’s satisfaction.
Otherwise
, the buyer will not repeat their purchase and leave the
product
even the worst they could leave a negative comment on social media and have a bad effect on the
product
. In conclusion, even though it is believed that promotion is an essential thing to familiarize goods.
Therefore
, corporations should not only focus on promotion expenses but
also
maintain the good quality of their stuff and make sure that customer will repurchase their
product
in the future.
Submitted by nourmarasyidah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing both why businesses emphasize new aspects in their products and discussing whether this is a positive or negative development. However, in order to achieve a higher score, ensure that all arguments are fully developed and backed by relevant examples. This will also help to better illustrate and support your main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. Nonetheless, the logical flow between ideas can be improved. Try to use more transitional phrases to enhance the coherence between different sections of the essay. For example, words like 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' and 'On the other hand,' can help to smoothly transition from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Central ideas are clearly expressed, but some sentences can be more concise and comprehensible. There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that need to be addressed to improve clarity. For example, instead of 'the majority of its money on a mass campaign to get customer’s attention on what it offers,' you could say 'a significant portion of their budget on a mass campaign to capture customers' attention.'
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion and presents your viewpoint clearly.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the position, providing a clear end to the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a well-rounded analysis by addressing both the promotion aspect and the importance of product quality.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • novelty
  • excitement
  • latest trends
  • improvements
  • advancements
  • differentiating
  • competitors
  • innovation
  • progress
  • attracting attention
  • generating curiosity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: