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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the results of a survey about peoples coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about peoples coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart depicts the number of
people
Use synonyms
 in five Australian cities about the habits of buying
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
tea
Use synonyms
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
summary,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
people
Use synonyms
choosed
Correct your spelling
chose
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 in Melbourne with Hobart in the second city
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
Use synonyms
. Different for the fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 buying habits in 4
weeks
Use synonyms
 saw that the Brisbane and Adelaide have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar percentage. Based on the chart, between the consumption of instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
Use synonyms
 and
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
Use synonyms
 category
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in Adelaide have
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 percentage which is 50% of
people
Use synonyms
 drink instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 and 49% drink
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
Use synonyms
. The lowest city which drank
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
Use synonyms
 is Brisbane around 33
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and followed
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 Adelaide around 34
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
The most
Correct article usage
Most
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in Melbourne drink
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 63%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, coffee, tea, weeks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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