IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favor of them because of their benefits to humanity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays animal
experiments
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 are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these
experiments
Use synonyms
 should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause
animals
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 to suffer,
while
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 others are in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of them because of their benefits to humanity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. It is true that animal
experiments
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 play a significant role in the development of new medicines and safety
tests
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 for new products.
While
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 some suggest that animal
experiments
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 should be banned, I do believe these
tests
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 are necessary for human beings. On the one hand, animal
experiments
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 might have ethical issues.
Firstly
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, laboratory
animals
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 lose their freedom. Most experimental
animals
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 are closed in cages, and they are not allowed to go outside.
For example
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, experimental dogs in some laboratories have to be taken many times of
tests
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 until they die, and they do not have a chance to leave.
In addition
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, the sacrifice of
animals
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 is meaningless. The development of new drugs often takes a long time, and the possibility of success is low.
Therefore
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, most
experiments
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 waste animal
lives
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 because they cannot reach the expected result.
However
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,
while
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 animal
experiments
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 are ethically incorrect, governments can set up relevant regulations to guarantee the basic benefit of
animals
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.
On the other hand
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, I believe animal
experiments
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 make a big contribution to medical costs and saving
lives
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.
Firstly
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, animal
tests
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 can reduce the medical expenditures of patients. Compared with human
tests
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, animal
experiments
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 cost less money.
Thus
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, the lower development costs decrease medical prices, and more patients can afford them.
Moreover
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, animal
experiments
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 can save millions of human
lives
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 with a tiny sacrifice. Most developments of new drugs only require a limited number of
animals
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 for
experiments
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, but they are likely to save many
lives
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.
For instance
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, the Chinese COVID-19 vaccines only took fifty mice for
experiments
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, but they effectively treated a lot of patients. In conclusion,
while
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 animal
experiments
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 are against the moral standard, governments can come up with related regulations to protect animal rights. From my perspective, the benefits of animal
tests
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 cannot be ignored because they reduce medical prices and save the
lives
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 of people.

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay strictly adheres to the Task Response guideline by addressing each aspect of the question thoroughly. Each argument should include balanced and thorough evidence or examples to support the claims.
coherence cohesion
Paragraph transitions can be smoother. Utilize linking phrases to guide the reader seamlessly between paragraphs and ideas. This will increase the readability and coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Despite presenting clear ideas, try to enhance the clarity by using more sophisticated vocabulary, complex sentence structures, and varied grammar. Reducing repetitive words and expressions will show a higher level of language proficiency.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively outline the main arguments of the essay, providing a clear understanding of the writer's perspective.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant, specific examples, such as the reference to the Chinese COVID-19 vaccine development, demonstrating a solid connection between theory and practice.
task achievement
The main points are supported adequately, and the structure of the essay follows a logical progression with clear and comprehensive ideas presented.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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