Young people who commit serious crimes, such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
disagree with the statement that young
people
who commit serious crimes, such
as robbery or violent attacks, should be penalized in the same way as adults
. This
essay will explore several reasons for this
matter.
Firstly
, young people
are not mature enough to fully understand the consequences of their actions. Therefore
, it would not be fair to judge them using the same procedures as adults
in criminal cases. When I was young, for instance
, I prioritized my self-interests, but as I grew older, I became more understanding and developed a higher level of consciousness. Young individuals may make serious mistakes, but with the right guidance and opportunities, they can correct themselves. Hence
, it is not fair to punish them as adults
.
Secondly
, juveniles have the potential to contribute positively to society. Authorities should focus on providing proper education and rehabilitation for these individuals to reintegrate them back into society. Many young offenders lack adequate education and awareness about the consequences of their actions. For example
, constructing organizations where young people
can learn about the negative effects of criminal behavior
could prevent future Change the spelling
behaviour
offenses
. These initiatives can protect the young generation from engaging in criminal activities. Change the spelling
offences
Due to
these reasons, young people
should not be punished in the same manner as adults
.
In conclusion, I reiterate that teenagers should not be chastised as adults
. They are still young and have the time and potential to reform. Judging them the same way as adults
is not fair. Additionally
, young people
have high
potential to contribute to society, and creating educational and rehabilitative organizations is essential to address Correct article usage
a high
this
problem effectively.Submitted by Yasar Khan on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task quite well, clearly stating your disagreement with the idea that young people should be punished as adults for serious crimes. However, to strengthen your task achievement, you could provide more concrete examples or statistical data to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, with clear progression from one idea to the next. However, improving the transition between ideas and paragraphs can elevate your essay further. Consider using more varied linking words to enhance flow.
coherence cohesion
Adding a few more sentences to elaborate on the examples given would improve the support for your main points. Also, a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures can help make your essay more engaging and demonstrate higher proficiency.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are exceptionally clear and relevant to the topic. They frame your argument effectively and provide a strong sense of closure.
logical structure
The points made in your essay are coherent and logically follow each other, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
supported main points
The examples and personal anecdote you included help to illustrate your points and make your argument more relatable.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?