Young people who commit serious crimes, such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #crimes #robbery #attack #adults

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disagree with the statement that young

people

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who commit serious crimes,

such

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as robbery or violent attacks, should be penalized in the same way as

adults

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This

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essay will explore several reasons for

this

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matter.

Firstly

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, young

people

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are not mature enough to fully understand the consequences of their actions.

Therefore

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, it would not be fair to judge them using the same procedures as

adults

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in criminal cases. When I was young,

for instance

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, I prioritized my self-interests, but as I grew older, I became more understanding and developed a higher level of consciousness. Young individuals may make serious mistakes, but with the right guidance and opportunities, they can correct themselves.

Hence

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, it is not fair to punish them as

adults

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Secondly

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, juveniles have the potential to contribute positively to society. Authorities should focus on providing proper education and rehabilitation for these individuals to reintegrate them back into society. Many young offenders lack adequate education and awareness about the consequences of their actions.

For example

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, constructing organizations where young

people

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can learn about the negative effects of criminal

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

could prevent future

offenses

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offences

show examples

. These initiatives can protect the young generation from engaging in criminal activities.

Due to

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these reasons, young

people

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should not be punished in the same manner as

adults

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. In conclusion, I reiterate that teenagers should not be chastised as

adults

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. They are still young and have the time and potential to reform. Judging them the same way as

adults

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is not fair.

Additionally

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, young

people

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have

high

Correct article usage

a high

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potential to contribute to society, and creating educational and rehabilitative organizations is essential to address

this

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problem effectively.

Submitted by Yasar Khan on Wed Jul 10 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the task quite well, clearly stating your disagreement with the idea that young people should be punished as adults for serious crimes. However, to strengthen your task achievement, you could provide more concrete examples or statistical data to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is logically structured, with clear progression from one idea to the next. However, improving the transition between ideas and paragraphs can elevate your essay further. Consider using more varied linking words to enhance flow.

coherence cohesion

Adding a few more sentences to elaborate on the examples given would improve the support for your main points. Also, a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures can help make your essay more engaging and demonstrate higher proficiency.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction and conclusion are exceptionally clear and relevant to the topic. They frame your argument effectively and provide a strong sense of closure.

logical structure

The points made in your essay are coherent and logically follow each other, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

supported main points

The examples and personal anecdote you included help to illustrate your points and make your argument more relatable.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Young people who commit serious crimes, such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Freshwater is a limited resource in certain regions of the world. Today, the escalating demand has transformed it into a global problem. What are the causes of increasing demand? What measures can governments and individuals take to respond to the problem?

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

Some people believe that hosting an international sporting event is beneficial for the country, while others disagree. Do the benefits of hosting a major sporting event outweight the drawbacks?

There is a notion that says developed countries should avoid encouraging expert workers of developing countries for emigration, because the poorer countries need their professional workers

Some people believe that the activities of large multinational corporations mostly benefit the economies of developing countries. Other people take the opposite view and feel that these large multinationals are generally harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion?