Doctors, Nurses, and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sport celebrities. Do you agree or disagree ?

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Introduction, I partially agree with

this

Linking Words

statement because becoming an entertainment and sports celebrity is not that easy it needs a

lot

Use synonyms

of hard work.But

on the other hand

Linking Words

, I agree

Doctors

Use synonyms

Nurses

Use synonyms

, and

Teachers

Use synonyms

make a great

contribution

Use synonyms

society

Use synonyms

and should be paid more.

Firstly

Linking Words

, In our

society

Use synonyms

, all types of fields make a good

contribution

Use synonyms

society

Use synonyms

. But,

doctors

Use synonyms

nurses

Use synonyms

and

Teachers

Use synonyms

play a major role in our community.

For example

Linking Words

, If we have a dangerous accident or any illness and we are in our life the

last

Linking Words

stage. The only person who saves our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Is Doctor and

nurses

Use synonyms

. They give us a second chance to live life.

Moreover

Linking Words

, to become a Doctor and Nurse we need to do a

lot

Use synonyms

of hard work and doing the job as a Doctor requires patience.So that's why I think

Doctors

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and

Nurses

Use synonyms

make a valuable

contribution

Use synonyms

to our

society

Use synonyms

and should be paid more.

secondly

Linking Words

Teachers

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

make a great

contribution

Use synonyms

. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Teachers

Use synonyms

are our

children

Use synonyms

's second parent.

For example

Linking Words

, when our

children

Use synonyms

are in school

Teachers

Use synonyms

teach them how to

give

Verb problem

apply

show examples

respect other people, teach them

difference

Add an article

the difference

show examples

between good and bad

things

Use synonyms

, And a

lot

Use synonyms

things

Use synonyms

which our

children

Use synonyms

learn in school from

Teachers

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, That's why I believe

Teachers

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

make a great

contribution

Use synonyms

society

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, Entertainment and sports celebrities

also

Linking Words

make a

contribution

Use synonyms

to our communities. like, a

lot

Use synonyms

of people and

children

Use synonyms

doing most of the

things

Use synonyms

same as a sportsman and entertainers.

For example

Linking Words

, going gym , Eating healthy food, Studying And a

lot

Use synonyms

things

Use synonyms

which are good. In conclusion, I partly agree Because all of them make a great

contribution

Use synonyms

to our

society

Use synonyms

. But somehow,

Doctors

Use synonyms

Nurses

Use synonyms

and

Teachers

Use synonyms

play a major role in their

contribution

Use synonyms

damandhillon75026Thu Jul 11 2024

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task achievement

You have addressed the prompt and provided a standpoint, which is good. However, ensure you fully develop your ideas and use more specific examples to articulate your points better. Try to elaborate more clearly on why entertainment and sports celebrities should also not be dismissed in terms of their contributions.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is generally well-organized, but there are some areas where the linkage between ideas could be smoother. For example, use more linking phrases with precision to ensure your essay flows more naturally. Also, try to structure your paragraphs so each only develops one main idea. Additionally, some parts could have been more cohesively linked, especially when transitioning between the roles of doctors, nurses, and teachers to that of celebrities.

task achievement

You have made a clear response to the task and provided a balanced view which is commendable.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and adequately summarize your main points.

coherence cohesion

You have a logical structure in place which makes it easier to follow your line of argument.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
8
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

contribution
essential
well-being
education
training
dedication
entertain
inspire
significant
exorbitant
attract
talented
professions
improve
overall
quality
healthcare
priority
development
citizens

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Doctors, Nurses, and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sport celebrities. Do you agree or disagree ?

The funds for postgraduate research are limited; therefore, some people think that financial support from the government should be provided. However, only scientific research should be funded, rather than other, less useful subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People in many countries spend more and more time far away from their families. Why does this happen and what effects will it have on them and their families?

Some people feel that boarding schools are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion.

Some people believe that research into family history is useful, while others claim that the present and future are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?