Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss these views and give your own opinion.
While
it is widely claimed that many professionals such
as physicians and engineers must worked
in the country where they trainedChange the verb form
work
from
, others argue that the autonomy of working overseas should not be neglected. Both points of view and Change preposition
apply
reason
why I believe that will be elaborated on in Add an article
the reason
this
essay.
To begin
with, it may seems
sensible for some to believe that Change the verb form
seem
this
type of careers
Fix the agreement mistake
career
are
crucial for the development of a nation and required to work. Change the verb form
is
This
is possibly
because people who worked in Replace the adverb
possible
this
Correct determiner usage
these
fields
Fix the agreement mistake
field
often
Add a missing verb
are often
veiwed
as those with high academic performances and Correct your spelling
viewed
outwin
challenging Correct your spelling
outwit
out win
out in
problem-solvings
. These Fix the agreement mistake
problem-solving
peoples
could considered as the Fix the agreement mistake
people
brain
of the nation, Fix the agreement mistake
brains
that is
why the government tried to persuade them to employed
as they have been trained already with some financial Add a missing verb
be employed
supports
. Take physicians in Thailand, Fix the agreement mistake
support
For example
; the government already supported the funding of the
education with a Correct article usage
apply
half funded
scheme for more Add a hyphen
half-funded
accessiblity
for students with low-income Correct your spelling
accessibility
accessible
level
, Fix the agreement mistake
levels
in
Change preposition
apply
which
working Correct pronoun usage
apply
domesticly
for three years in return Correct your spelling
domestically
of
the deal.
Many opponents of Change preposition
for
this
idea might opposed
that working abroad will Verb problem
argue
giving
more opportunities Change the form of the verb
give
for
Change preposition
apply
them
and Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
options should not be restricted as it would Correct determiner usage
these
consider
as limiting one's autonomy. Wrong verb form
be considered
To simply
explain, limited career paths can prevent them Change preposition
Simply
to
Change preposition
from
growth
.
Replace the word
growing
However
, I personally argue in favour of working in foreign countries freely seeing that it cannot pose a potential threat for work industries due to
interests and the expenses required. To simply explain, Correct article usage
the trends
trends
of working abroad is not that everyone Fix the agreement mistake
trend
Add a missing verb
is hype
hype
but rather a personal goal Replace the word
hyped
in
which Change preposition
apply
it
should be Correct pronoun usage
apply
opt
for people who Verb problem
apply
in
need. Add a missing verb
are in
For example
, working as a nurse in the states
Capitalize word
States
require
numerous expenses Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
such
as exams fee
and Fix the agreement mistake
exam fees
travel related
documents.
In a nutshell, Add a hyphen
travel-related
although
it is undeniable that working domestically is requested for for
national development, I am of the opinion that the freedom of Remove the redundancy
apply
works
should be limited in order to respect one's autonomy.Fix the agreement mistake
work
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on
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task achievement
Your essay engages with the topic and discusses both perspectives, but some ideas are not fully developed. For example, you mention that working abroad can limit one's growth but do not elaborate on specific opportunities.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and punctuation to enhance clarity. For instance, "this type of careers are crucial" should be "these types of careers are crucial," and "This is possibly because people who worked in this fields" should be "This is possibly because people who work in these fields."
task achievement
Offer more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your points. General statements make your argument less compelling. You could, for example, mention specific challenges or opportunities doctors or engineers face when working in different countries.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of ideas can be improved. Some transitions between sentences and paragraphs are abrupt. Use transitional phrases like "Moreover," "Furthermore," or "On the other hand."
task achievement
Good job outlining both perspectives on the issue in your introduction. This is essential for a balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your viewpoint, which effectively seals your argument.
task achievement
You provide some examples to support your points, such as the case of physicians in Thailand. This adds some depth to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.