Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays,
music
is always a hotly debated topic in conversation between both the young and the old. Almost all Use synonyms
people
love listening to Use synonyms
music
. some individuals believe that Use synonyms
music
is a good way of bringing Use synonyms
people
of diverse cultures and ages together. In my point of view, I totally agree with it. The following essay will give my opinion.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, Linking Words
music
will connect Use synonyms
people
who come from different cultures because nowadays, the Internet is increasingly developing so there are a lot of bands or singers who are very talented and renowned around the world. Use synonyms
Therefore
, concerts are Linking Words
also
held more often and attract a great deal of tourists from all over the world who attend and enjoy the best Linking Words
songs
together. Use synonyms
For example
, Blackpink is a very famous Linking Words
music
band. Use synonyms
Last
year, they held a concert in Vietnam and Linking Words
then
a lot of Linking Words
people
of diverse cultures Use synonyms
such
as Vietnamese, Chinese or Americans came and had a wonderful time here together.
Linking Words
Secondly
, Linking Words
music
helps individuals have connections between generations. Many Use synonyms
songs
are suitable for both the young and the old in a family to listenUse synonyms
.
So members of a family can sit down and enjoy them together. Change preposition
to.
Then
they can discuss topics which the Linking Words
songs
talk about, it will help the family bond strengthen more. Use synonyms
For instance
, during the Tet holiday, a lot of singers publish new Linking Words
songs
or Use synonyms
music
videos about Tet. At that time, citizens Use synonyms
also
had free time, Linking Words
therefore
, they could listen to these Linking Words
songs
together and recall things that they did and overcame after a year together.
In conclusion, many Use synonyms
people
claim that Use synonyms
music
is a great bridge between Use synonyms
people
from different countries and diverse generations. In my opinion, I totally agree with it.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Try to provide more elaboration on your examples. Explain more about how music connects people of different cultures and age groups at concerts or home settings. This will make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring more varied sentence structures and avoid repetition of words. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'together' and 'songs,' use synonyms or rephrase to maintain reader interest.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as the Blackpink concert and Tet holiday songs, are relevant and support your argument well.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.