Extreme sports such as skydiving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Some
people
believe that extreme sports
, such
as skydiving of
skiing, are too dangerous and should be prohibited. I completely disagree with Correct your spelling
or
this
statement,
and believe that anyone in the world must have access to these Remove the comma
apply
sports
in their lives.
One of the major reasons why there are so many opinions that extreme sports
must be banned is the fact that the
extraordinary Correct article usage
apply
sports
are attracting more and more people
and rising their popularity. Similarly
, their fame is strongly increases
, which leads to more public outrage Change the verb form
strongly increases
due to
the false opinion that the more participants, the more negative cases occur. For instance
, in France, the ski competition was canceled
Change the spelling
cancelled
due to
illegal protests in favor
of banning Change the spelling
favour
this
sport.
In addition
to false opinions, the opinion on the ban is supported by supporters of classical sports
, such
as football and biathlon. Therefore
, they believe that the new extreme sports
will attract a large number of fans, which is why support for classic sports
will decrease significantly. And in turn, this
will lead to a decrease in funding for large-scale competitions.
Furthermore
, this
also
means that people
will faced with the problem: to take
a chance or notChange preposition
of taking
?
Change the punctuation
.
In contrast
, young, athletic, and ambitious people
are more likely to choose an extreme sport than a classic one. However
, this
is due to
the fact that they have less fear and more need to get adrenaline.
In conclusion, it is apparent that some people
believe that society must ban dangerous kinds of sport. In my view, some people
should immerse themselves in these exciting sports
better, because if you follow all precautions, everything will be fine.Submitted by eparfenenkov on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Expand your introduction to provide clearer context and background for your argument on extreme sports.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions to make the essay flow more smoothly.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points, making your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Clarify the connection between ideas and arguments to enhance the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
You have successfully provided a clear opinion and addressed the task prompt directly in your essay introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay covers multiple perspectives on the issue, providing a well-rounded discussion.
coherence cohesion
You concluded your essay effectively, reinforcing your stance on the topic.