Extreme sports such as skydiving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#sports

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Some

people

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believe that extreme

sports

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such

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as skydiving

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skiing, are too dangerous and should be prohibited. I completely disagree with

this

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statement

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apply

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and believe that anyone in the world must have access to these

sports

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in their lives. One of the major reasons why there are so many opinions that extreme

sports

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must be banned is the fact that

the

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apply

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extraordinary

sports

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are attracting more and more

people

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and rising their popularity.

Similarly

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, their fame

is strongly increases

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strongly increases

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, which leads to more public outrage

due to

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the false opinion that the more participants, the more negative cases occur.

For instance

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, in France, the ski competition was

canceled

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cancelled

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due to

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illegal protests in

favor

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favour

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of banning

this

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sport.

In addition

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to false opinions, the opinion on the ban is supported by supporters of classical

sports

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such

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as football and biathlon.

Therefore

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, they believe that the new extreme

sports

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will attract a large number of fans, which is why support for classic

sports

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will decrease significantly. And in turn,

this

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will lead to a decrease in funding for large-scale competitions.

Furthermore

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this

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also

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means that

people

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will faced with the problem:

to take

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of taking

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a chance or not

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In contrast

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, young, athletic, and ambitious

people

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are more likely to choose an extreme sport than a classic one.

However

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this

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due to

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the fact that they have less fear and more need to get adrenaline. In conclusion, it is apparent that some

people

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believe that society must ban dangerous kinds of sport. In my view, some

people

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should immerse themselves in these exciting

sports

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better, because if you follow all precautions, everything will be fine.

Submitted by eparfenenkov on Thu Jul 11 2024

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task achievement

Expand your introduction to provide clearer context and background for your argument on extreme sports.

coherence cohesion

Improve paragraph transitions to make the essay flow more smoothly.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points, making your argument more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Clarify the connection between ideas and arguments to enhance the logical structure of your essay.

task achievement

You have successfully provided a clear opinion and addressed the task prompt directly in your essay introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

Your essay covers multiple perspectives on the issue, providing a well-rounded discussion.

coherence cohesion

You concluded your essay effectively, reinforcing your stance on the topic.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Extreme sports
Dangerous
Banned
Agree
Disagree
View
Definition
Popularity
Advantages
Disadvantages
Dangers
Personal choice
Responsibility
Balancing
Risks
Benefits

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Extreme sports such as skydiving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today's world subjects like Science and technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important. What are the causes of this? Is this a positive or negative development?

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .