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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #activity
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Sports have been played since ancient days, people used to watch bullfighting and wrestling for entertainment.
While
 many people argue that the Authorities must impose a legal ban, others believe that these are professionals and well-trained, So the Authorities should allow them to play because these
games
 bring revenues to the
country
. Both sides of
this
 essay will be carefully analysed before constructing an inference. On the one hand, the main reason is that players have techniques and training, so they know how to handle injuries during play. Another reason is that it brings revenue to the Authorities and huge profits to sportsmen and organisers.
For example
, in boxing, when a boxer plays for the
country
 it's proud him to represent his nation.
As a result
, Mike Tyson played for his
country
 and earned a lot of money and fame, after he became a professional boxer.
On the other hand
, the primary reason is that these types of
games
 are the most deadly sometimes player lose their lives.
For example
, in wrestling many sportswomen died in the rings during the match.
In addition
, sometimes we think sportswomen are well trained, but accidentally they hit on the wrong body parts and it makes them paralysed.
As a consequence
, it is evident that young sportswomen die every year. In my opinion, it is true these
games
 are dangerous but if get professional training from the coaches and the best safety equipment, it can be beneficial to bring revenues for the
country
. In conclusion, following the analysis of both sides
it is clear that
 dangerous
games
 bring more revenues for the nation, organisers and contenders but they harm the players,
however
 trained coach must be appointed to save them from injuries.
Further
, it is predicted that
this
 development is going to continue because participants want to become rich and famous overnight.
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task achievement
Ensure all points are clearly backed by relevant examples. For instance, the statement about deadly games could be supported with more specific data or studies to make the argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Try to emphasize the flow between paragraphs and sentences. Ensure your ideas are not just presented but also smoothly connected to provide a clearer argument.
introduction conclusion present
Good introduction that sets the stage for the essay discussion.
complete response
Clear presentation of both perspectives on dangerous sports.
logical structure
Logical structure is evident, with distinct paragraphs for each viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • severe injuries
  • fatalities
  • base jumping
  • bull running
  • extreme skiing
  • safeguard
  • well-being
  • regulating
  • avoidable harm
  • healthcare costs
  • burdening
  • personal freedom
  • autonomy
  • training
  • equipment
  • mitigated
  • personal satisfaction
  • mental health benefits
  • resilience
  • adventure
  • assess risks
  • public safety
  • unnecessary healthcare costs
  • outright bans
  • balanced approach
  • stringent safety standards
  • mandatory training sessions
  • adequately informed
  • safeguarding
  • public health
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