Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about metters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Sometimes, it is argued that
children
Use synonyms
should be able to make their own
choices
Use synonyms
regarding their daily routines freely.
However
Linking Words
, others think that giving
children
Use synonyms
the privilege to choose everything like food, clothes and other stuff, can make them selfish citizens in the future.
While
Linking Words
I understand the concerns of some people regarding giving
this
Linking Words
privilege to
children
Use synonyms
, I extremely believe that
children
Use synonyms
must make their own
choices
Use synonyms
. It would benefit them in the future for several reasons. On the one hand, there is a belief that
children
Use synonyms
should not be allowed to make
choices
Use synonyms
about everything in their lives. Sometimes, if
children
Use synonyms
reach everything they want, they will not be grateful for the amenities they have or the facilities that their parents
provided
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
for them.
Also
Linking Words
, sometimes the situation can be difficult for families financially, in
this
Linking Words
case,
children
Use synonyms
will go through a rough time because they do not have a load of options to select.
Similarly
Linking Words
, many
children
Use synonyms
might think the world revolves around them, and anybody should respect and obey them.
For instance
Linking Words
, they may show aggressive behaviours in their school.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is perceived by some that we should allow
children
Use synonyms
to make their own
choices
Use synonyms
on everything.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if
children
Use synonyms
have a chance to select their favourite items regarding everything, they can enjoy their life and become more satisfied with their childhood.
Secondly
Linking Words
, making
choices
Use synonyms
will make them more independent in the future, by helping them to choose better.
Lastly
Linking Words
, it allows them to improve their skills to select between distinct options,
instead
Linking Words
of relying on the opinion of others.
For example
Linking Words
, they can select their major, their job, their college, and everything that concerns them. In conclusion, people have different ideas about giving
children
Use synonyms
the privilege to choose everything related to them. In my opinion, allowing
children
Use synonyms
to select the products and items they use in their daily routines has more advantages compared to the drawbacks.
Submitted by amir1375.6 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to develop your arguments further with more specific examples and evidence. This will help strengthen your position and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Be sure to address counterarguments in more detail. This demonstrates a nuanced understanding of the topic and makes your argument more robust.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving transitions between paragraphs and ideas to ensure smoother flow. This will enhance the coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all sentences within each paragraph naturally lead to the next. This will help in making your argument more cohesive and logically structured.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views of the topic, which is crucial for a well-rounded discussion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, encapsulating the main points of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph effectively focuses on a single main idea related to the essay's central argument.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant to the points being made, adding value to the discussion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: