IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What

#countries #people #history #house
A large number of
people
 nowadays are eager to learn more about the historical series of their houses.
This
 is mainly because
people
 want to better understand the place where they live and to discover some hidden secrets. There are a number of factors related to
this
 phenomenon and several effective methods which can be employed to conduct their research. Residents are becoming more and more interested in their houses for many reasons. They might want to uncover some patterns that occurred in the past in their familiar buildings, in
order
 to have a better understanding
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their culture.
In addition
, demystifying the historical events in a building can put
foundation
Correct article usage
a foundation
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a strong connection between local residents and the environment.
While
 there are various plausible reasons related to
this
 phenomenon, one possible explanation is
people
’s curiosity. There are several pragmatic solutions which can be approached by
people
 in
order
 to find out what has happened in their private spaces. One way to tackle
this
 is to reach the elderly in
order
 to request some information about the past, asking if they have memories
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a target building. Another method of discovering the history of houses can be by acquiring some new knowledge from libraries.
For instance
, a person can understand the historical development of his or her community by reading some books or records.
Finally
, I believe that in the 21st century, the internet has become the most useful research tool in any discipline.
Therefore
,
people
 who are interested in the history of their buildings can easily obtain information by simply typing relevant keywords about the topics. Taking all these into account, it is reasonable to say that there are various reasons why
people
 want to gain in-depth information about their home and several methods in
order
 to find pieces of history about our home.
Submitted by capibara11 on

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task achievement
To improve task response, consider adding specific details or case studies that demonstrate the ideas discussed. This will add depth and provide a richer context.
task achievement
Enhancing the clarity of ideas might involve breaking down complex sentences and using simpler language for difficult concepts. This will make the essay more accessible and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
To further increase coherence and cohesion, the essay could use transitional phrases more frequently to guide the reader through the argumentation, especially between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-organized structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which enhances readability.
task achievement
Main points are generally well-supported with relevant explanations and examples, showing a good grasp of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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