Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearence

Some individuals believe that to be successful, it is essential to

work

hard with high willpower.

However

, others think that other components,

such

money

and

appearance

, play a vital role in

success

in life.

While

I agree that

money

and

appearance

may influence

success

, they are not permanent and crucial compared with hard

work

This

essay will explore several reasons to support

this

perspective.

Firstly

money

and

appearance

are significant factors on the path to

success

. A rich person can easily afford specific needs that require

money

for

success

Likewise

appearance

also

used to achieve some personal interests. A beautiful lady,

for example

, can be a female model easily if she has a nice

appearance

However

, both

money

and

appearance

are not permanent elements, and there are always risks for individuals to lose them.

Thus

, I agree that these factors are not the most important way to be successful.

Besides

that, I firmly regard hard

work

as the most effective and lasting way to achieve something noteworthy in life. Many things in life need effort, and it requires determination that comes from our will;

therefore

, it is valuable for me.

Moreover

this

effort has a lasting effect that teaches us some insights, so

success

through hard

work

is more crucial and influential.

For instance

, many successful people come from economically disadvantaged areas and eventually receive high salaries through working hard in their fields. In conclusion,

although

many consider

money

and

appearance

as key elements for

success

, I acknowledge that hard

work

and determination are more influential with a lasting impact.

In contrast

appearance

and

money

are changeable phenomena that teach a person less.

Instead

, I recommend hard

work

, which contributes to a person's capacity to prevail.

Submitted by Yasar Khan on Thu Jul 11 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, consider adding more specific examples and elaborations to support your points. For instance, cite notable individuals who succeeded through hard work.

task achievement

While you have addressed both views, try to present counter-arguments for a more comprehensive discussion. For example, explain why some people may value money and appearance over hard work.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus. Occasionally, the sentences can be more aligned with the main point of the paragraph for better cohesion.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly outlines the two contrasting views and sets the stage for the discussion, which is excellent for coherence.

task achievement

You present your opinion clearly and support it with logical reasoning, which strengthens the task achievement.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your view and reiterates the main arguments, providing a satisfying end to the essay.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
It is common to see people focused on their phones everywhere from home to public places and in almost every activity in their lives. Many people think that this phenomenon is understandable in this technologicial era while others are concerned about its negative effects in different aspects. Which opinion do you agree with?
Most people believe that the majority of individuals perceive excessive smartphone usage as a common occurrence. However, there is a more persuasive argument that these devices will have a detrimental impact on productivity, social relationships and mental health.
4.5
band
In many countries have severe problems with students behavior. what do you this are the cause of this? what solution can you suggest?
Pupils’ actions lead to numerous issues in different part of the world. This is a serious problem because it affects speed of the development level of the countries. This essay will consider the main causes of students’ tendency, before proposing two possible solutions.
5
band
These days many kids spend a lot of their time playing computer games instead of doing sports. What is the cause of this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
It is true that many kids these days tend to spend more time playing computer games than doing sports. This kind of tendency is caused by some factors. In my view, this trend is a negative development for this society.
6
band
Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour of them because of their benefits to humanity.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is true that medicines and other products are routinely tested on animals before they are cleared for human use. While I tend towards the viewpoint that animal testing is morally wrong, I would have to support a limited amount of animal experimentation for the development of medicines.
4.5
band
Write about the following topic: Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, people tend to like buying things with a proper packaging. Subsequently, the packaging that produced thousands in a day might need layers of plastic. However, it is agreed that plastic ranked as the most rubbish in the world due to its long period to subside. Hence, the over-consumption of plastic is threatening the state of healthy environment globally, resulting a crisis that must be tackle immediately.

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries have severe problems with students behavior. what do you this are the cause of this? what solution can you suggest?

These days many kids spend a lot of their time playing computer games instead of doing sports. What is the cause of this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?