Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some individuals believe that to be successful, it is essential to
work
hard with high willpower. However
, others think that other components, such
as money
and appearance
, play a vital role in success
in life. While
I agree that money
and appearance
may influence success
, they are not permanent and crucial compared with hard work
. This
essay will explore several reasons to support this
perspective.
Firstly
, money
and appearance
are significant factors on the path to success
. A rich person can easily afford specific needs that require money
for success
. Likewise
, appearance
is also
used to achieve some personal interests. A beautiful lady, for example
, can be a female model easily if she has a nice appearance
. However
, both money
and appearance
are not permanent elements, and there are always risks for individuals to lose them. Thus
, I agree that these factors are not the most important way to be successful.
Besides
that, I firmly regard hard work
as the most effective and lasting way to achieve something noteworthy in life. Many things in life need effort, and it requires determination that comes from our will; therefore
, it is valuable for me. Moreover
, this
effort has a lasting effect that teaches us some insights, so success
through hard work
is more crucial and influential. For instance
, many successful people come from economically disadvantaged areas and eventually receive high salaries through working hard in their fields.
In conclusion, although
many consider money
and appearance
as key elements for success
, I acknowledge that hard work
and determination are more influential with a lasting impact. In contrast
, appearance
and money
are changeable phenomena that teach a person less. Instead
, I recommend hard work
, which contributes to a person's capacity to prevail.Submitted by Yasar Khan on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, consider adding more specific examples and elaborations to support your points. For instance, cite notable individuals who succeeded through hard work.
task achievement
While you have addressed both views, try to present counter-arguments for a more comprehensive discussion. For example, explain why some people may value money and appearance over hard work.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus. Occasionally, the sentences can be more aligned with the main point of the paragraph for better cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the two contrasting views and sets the stage for the discussion, which is excellent for coherence.
task achievement
You present your opinion clearly and support it with logical reasoning, which strengthens the task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your view and reiterates the main arguments, providing a satisfying end to the essay.