Some people say that seeing an ancient objects in a museum can give the public a unique awareness of history. Others say that modern media such as internet provide more effective way for the public to learn about history. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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With
technololgy
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technology

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evolving and growing in various aspects including
history
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mainly museums we are facing a rising argument about whether it is better to see objects in real life or does the media
specificly
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specifically

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the
internet
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has already made it easier to access and view
anciant
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ancient

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history
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and some say it
also
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provides a more knowledgable experience . I think that no matter how much we evolve there will never be a more magnificent experience than going to a museum yourself and inspecting the object face to face .
On the other
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hand
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hand,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase On the other hand. Consider adding a comma.

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some do not see that museums are useful in the modern age of technology as they see that the
internet
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has provided an even better
discreptive
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descriptive

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overview
each
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of each

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historian
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historian's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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piece
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.
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Linking Words
Moreover
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Moreover,

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they believe that the web gives a much easier
discreption
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description

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of the
art
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provided . Another point is that the media offers a much
efficient
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more efficient

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observation of
art
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making it easy access to everyone . Back to the other end of the
arguement
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argument

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which is in my
oponion
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opinion

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the better option at hand
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that
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apply

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is the adventure of seeing
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piece's
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pieces

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of
history
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with your own eyes . The most important factor of the usual trip to the
museumes
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museums
museum

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is getting to personally inspect each object and really focusing on
intrecate
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intricate

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details of each
piece
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that cannot be captured with a simple camera or photo of the
piece
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. To
further
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elaborate
i
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I

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will give you a brief example of when
i
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I

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visited the
british
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British

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museuem
wich
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which

The word wich doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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i
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I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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was hesitant about visiting as
i
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I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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thought
i
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I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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had seen everything on the
internet
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but as
i
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I

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went there
i
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I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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got to see a different side of each
piece
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

making me speechless after my visit .
In
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

addition
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addition,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In addition. Consider adding a comma.

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museums are one of the few useful places left for people to visit
wich
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which

The word wich doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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is needed in our world
nowdays
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nowadays

The compound nowdays appears to be incorrect. Consider changing it to the closed compound nowadays.

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. In
conclusion
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conclusion,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In conclusion. Consider adding a comma.

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the
internet
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does in some way make a quick view of
art
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

faster but nothing beats seeing the sophisticated and detailed pieces of
history
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with your own eyes because. simple picture can not describe
a
Correct article usage
the

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long
history
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of each
art
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

object .

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task response
The essay demonstrates a complete response to the task, but the introduction could be clearer in setting up the discussion for both views. Try breaking it into more manageable sentences for clarity and to avoid run-ons.
coherence and cohesion
The essay could benefit from a clearer logical structure. Although the ideas are connected, the organization can be improved by using clearer topic sentences and transitions between points.
general improvement
Several spelling and grammar errors are present (e.g., "technololgy", "modern media specificly the internet", "each historian piece", "intrecate", "museumes"). Paying attention to these minor details can enhance overall readability and professionalism.
task response
The essay clearly presents both views on the topic and provides a personal opinion, showing an understanding of the task requirements.
task response
The use of a personal example adds depth and relevance to the argument, making it more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
There is a visible attempt to connect ideas within and between paragraphs, showing a degree of coherence.
task response
The writer shows a clear, comprehensive understanding of the essay topic and maintains focus on the main argument throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tactile and visual experience
  • immersive
  • curation
  • contextual information
  • interaction
  • tangible
  • emotional experience
  • connection
  • multimedia elements
  • interactive maps
  • virtual tours
  • accessibility
  • diversity of perspectives
  • authoritative validation
  • educational programs
  • collaborative learning
What to do next:
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