Some people say that seeing an ancient objects in a museum can give the public a unique awareness of history. Others say that modern media such as internet provide more effective way for the public to learn about history. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
With
technololgy
evolving and growing in various aspects including Correct your spelling
technology
history
mainly museums we are facing a rising argument about whether it is better to see objects in real life or does the media specificly
the Correct your spelling
specifically
internet
has already made it easier to access and view anciant
Correct your spelling
ancient
history
and some say it also
provides a more knowledgable experience . I think that no matter how much we evolve there will never be a more magnificent experience than going to a museum yourself and inspecting the object face to face .
On the other
hand
some do not see that museums are useful in the modern age of technology as they see that the Add a comma
hand,
internet
has provided an even better discreptive
overview Correct your spelling
descriptive
each
Change preposition
of each
historian
Change noun form
historian's
piece
. Moreover
they believe that the web gives a much easier Add a comma
Moreover,
discreption
of the Correct your spelling
description
art
provided . Another point is that the media offers a much efficient
observation of Correct quantifier usage
more efficient
art
making it easy access to everyone .
Back to the other end of the arguement
which is in my Correct your spelling
argument
oponion
the better option at hand Correct your spelling
opinion
that
is the adventure of seeing Correct pronoun usage
apply
piece's
of Change noun form
pieces
history
with your own eyes . The most important factor of the usual trip to the museumes
is getting to personally inspect each object and really focusing on Correct your spelling
museums
museum
intrecate
details of each Correct your spelling
intricate
piece
that cannot be captured with a simple camera or photo of the piece
. To further
elaborate i
will give you a brief example of when Change the capitalization
I
i
visited the Change the capitalization
I
british
museuem Change the capitalization
British
wich
Correct your spelling
which
i
was hesitant about visiting as Change the capitalization
I
i
thought Change the capitalization
I
i
had seen everything on the Change the capitalization
I
internet
but as i
went there Change the capitalization
I
i
got to see a different side of each Change the capitalization
I
piece
making me speechless after my visit . In
addition
museums are one of the few useful places left for people to visit Add a comma
addition,
wich
is needed in our world Correct your spelling
which
nowdays
.
In Correct the word
nowadays
conclusion
the Add a comma
conclusion,
internet
does in some way make a quick view of art
faster but nothing beats seeing the sophisticated and detailed pieces of history
with your own eyes because. simple picture can not describe a
long Correct article usage
the
history
of each art
object .Submitted by aljouri50x50 on
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task response
The essay demonstrates a complete response to the task, but the introduction could be clearer in setting up the discussion for both views. Try breaking it into more manageable sentences for clarity and to avoid run-ons.
coherence and cohesion
The essay could benefit from a clearer logical structure. Although the ideas are connected, the organization can be improved by using clearer topic sentences and transitions between points.
general improvement
Several spelling and grammar errors are present (e.g., "technololgy", "modern media specificly the internet", "each historian piece", "intrecate", "museumes"). Paying attention to these minor details can enhance overall readability and professionalism.
task response
The essay clearly presents both views on the topic and provides a personal opinion, showing an understanding of the task requirements.
task response
The use of a personal example adds depth and relevance to the argument, making it more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
There is a visible attempt to connect ideas within and between paragraphs, showing a degree of coherence.
task response
The writer shows a clear, comprehensive understanding of the essay topic and maintains focus on the main argument throughout.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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