Some people think that detailed description of crime scenes in newspapers and on TV can have a bad influence on the public, so this kind of information should be restricted in the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days,
crime
rates have been increasing rapidly more than ever before to
around the world some believe that the public can Change preposition
apply
influence
by watching and reading Wrong verb form
be influenced
crime
scenes
from
Change preposition
on
TV
and Change preposition
in newspaper
newspaper
, so Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
these kinds
of information should be prohibited in the media, I firmly disagree with Fix the agreement mistake
this kind
this
statement, I will address why I oppose this
statement for the following reasons.
To commence with, people do not influence
badly when they watch crime
scenes
on TV
because these medias
can create more Correct your spelling
media
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
to
the population to prevent and be aware before any Change preposition
in
crime
happens. This
means numerous culprits act a
normal Correct your spelling
as
person
before doing Fix the agreement mistake
people
offence
so Correct article usage
an offence
these information
can help to smell criminals and their real intentions; Change the determiner
this information
these knowledge
only Change the determiner
this knowledge
individual
learn from watching Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
crime
scenes
on TV
. For example
, many detective shows are telecasted in prime media, there
are based on Correct pronoun usage
They
the
real Correct article usage
apply
crime
and how police catch them and Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
dedives how
the way Verb problem
discover
solve
the Fix the infinitive
to solve
mistery
offence: everything Correct your spelling
mystery
detaily explian
by the detective, and Correct your spelling
detail explained
as a result
, people will be more aware to stop any crime
occurs. Hence
, these crime
scenes
never influenced
badly Wrong verb form
influence
instead
of
Change preposition
apply
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
creates
more protection.
Correct subject-verb agreement
create
Furthermore
, newspaper's crime
scener
Correct your spelling
scene
are
our surrounding place how affected by Change the verb form
is
toffender
when they Correct your spelling
the offender
do
any offence. Verb problem
commit
This
means these news are providing
details about Wrong verb form
provide
culprit's
different ideas and how they manipulate persons to use them for Correct article usage
the culprit's
crime
. For instance
, it describes crime
how, when, who, why
happens compled with they Correct word choice
and why
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
culprit's
identity, so mankind will be more aware Correct article usage
the culprit's
any
incidents before Change preposition
of any
happens
. The more precise, Correct subject-verb agreement
happen
these medial information
about Change the determiner
this medial information
crime
, this
leads to Correct pronoun usage
apply
avoid
being victims of any Change the verb form
avoiding
crime
. Henceforth, this
not
Add a missing verb
does not
influence
badly to the public rather than create
awareness.
In conclusion, Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
TV
and newspaper
do not create bad. Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
influence
to
the population when they telecast about mankind stay far Change preposition
apply
crime
scenes
because it creates more awarness
to away from offenders Correct your spelling
awareness
as well as
it avoids being victims of crime
in real life. Therefore
, I firmly disagree with this
statement and I hope this
certainly brings more benefits to society.Submitted by reanudeepan on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt but there are areas that lack clarity and coherence. Improve your introduction by clearly outlining the points that you will discuss in the essay.
coherence cohesion
The paragraphs should have a more logical structure where each point is clearly introduced, developed, and concluded. Make sure you have clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are clear, but the language and structure can be improved for better comprehension. Make sure to avoid redundant phrases and complex sentence structures that can confuse the reader.
task achievement
Try to provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Review and refine your conclusion to ensure that it effectively summarizes the main points and clearly states your final position on the issue.
task achievement
You have provided a clear position on the issue and maintained this stance throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your essay includes multiple points to support your argument, which demonstrates an effort to address the prompt comprehensively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?