chools have the social responsibility to discourage children from eating junk food. Others think it is the parent's responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Due to
the increased prevalence of processed food items among
children
, health has become one of the gravest global concerns.
While
some individuals claim that educational institutes should address
this
problem, others believe that
parents
should take
this
responsibility.
Nevertheless
, I firmly am of the view that it is
parent
's primary duty to monitor their
children
's eating
habits
by actively participating in their daily routines.
This
essay explores the reasons supporting why a proportion of society renders the issue as the school's responsibility and why the remainder reckons
otherwise
. On the one hand, very often people think that schools should incorporate health education in
students
' syllabi. To explain
this
idea, since teachers play an influential role in
students
' lives,
students
tend to learn a lot more in classrooms. Having said that, teachers should,
therefore
, utilise
such
opportunities to educate
students
about the adverse effects of consuming unhealthy food .
For example
, had the learning institutes organise seminars on a weekly basis, focusing on ways to abstain from junk food,
students
would begin implementing them, which would ultimately improve their lifestyles.
Hence
, owing to the educationists' impactful personalities, they should harness their potential skill in grooming
children
's
habits
.
On the other hand
,
parents
are solely in charge of their
children
's lifestyle. To elaborate on
this
, not only are
parents
aware of their
children
's practices, but
also
are able to observe them throughout the day.
In other words
, it is obvious that
students
spend a larger fraction of their time at home,
due to
which they are under
parent
's surveillance continuously;
consequently
, they are able to interfere with their
children
whenever they opt to eat junk .
For instance
,
parent
's involvement and participation in
children
's lives gives them an insight into the position and the
habits
of their
children
, which allows them to reform and reshape their
children
accordingly
.
Thus
,
parents
have authority over their
children
's eating
habits
and should be held responsible for them. In conclusion,
although
many people underline the importance of school in promoting a healthy diet, others advocate that
parents
provide better nourishment in
this
matter.
Nonetheless
, I believe that
parent
's dedication and continuous presence are of paramount importance that
cultivate
Wrong verb form
cultivating
show examples
and
reinforce
Wrong verb form
reinforcing
show examples
offspring's
habits
. Blended learning can be useful in solving
such
problems as well.
Submitted by hadia.iftikhar126 on

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task response
Your essay demonstrates a strong response to the task. However, improve the clarity of your ideas and organization. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that main points are distinctly developed.
coherence cohesion
Focus on ensuring a logical progression of ideas for better coherence. Transition words can be used more effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
task response
Your essay clearly addresses both views and presents a well-founded opinion on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are engaging and relevant, adequately framing the discussion.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social responsibility
  • gatekeepers
  • nutrition education
  • healthy eating habits
  • substantial part of their day
  • primary caregivers
  • role models
  • well-rounded approach
  • collaborative effort
  • reinforce
  • health implications
  • eating patterns
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