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Writing Samples
Band 8

Today, more people are waiting until their thirties to get married and have children. Do you think this is a positive or negative development ?

#people #thirties #children #development
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Nowadays, weddings and parenthood are postponed by a lot of individuals until they reach the age of 30. In my view,
this
 should be perceived as a positive trend for two main reasons. The first reason why deferring
marriage
 and child-rearing is a great decision is because it can help ensure couples’ financial security.
Although
 it could probably be seen that they are later than the others, it can enable them to prepare financially more maturely. By being financially stable, they could avoid marital conflict since their primary needs are easier to fulfil,
such
 as an adequate home, nutritious food, and decent clothes to live a comfortable life. The fact that some married couples ended up with divorce and splitting up shows that the importance of financial stability cannot be underestimated. The second argument in favour of getting married at a later age is because it can help them to have emotional maturity which means that they can improve their chance of having a harmonious life. To illustrate, elderly couples tend easily to forgive their partner and
also
 accept each other's shortcomings, not letting silly problems ruin their connection. Because age and maturity have a strong and positive correlation with the success of
marriage
 life, it is okay if we choose to delay
marriage
 and prepare more rather than doing it in a rush and lead to failure. In conclusion, delaying
marriage
 and parenthood can allow couples to achieve not only financial stability but
also
 emotional maturity.
Therefore
, I remain firmly convinced that
this
 should be seen as a positive trend.
Submitted by karelrenaldi8 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is well-developed with specific details.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Consider including counterarguments or alternative viewpoints to create a more balanced discussion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples, anecdotes, or evidence to support your arguments convincingly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize the main points.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure throughout the essay, and main points are well-supported with explanations.
task achievement
The response is complete and addresses the prompt by discussing both financial and emotional aspects.
task achievement
Ideas are presented clearly and are easy to follow, contributing to a comprehensive response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • matrimonial timing
  • fertility issues
  • career-oriented
  • financial security
  • societal norms
  • generational divide
  • personal fulfillment
  • personality development
  • biological clock
  • extended adolescence
  • family planning
  • child rearing
  • socioeconomic factors
  • traditional milestones
What to do next:
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