IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Traffic congestion is a growing problem in many major cities. Some people say that the government should be responsible to reduce the use of cars. And the car users also have to use public transportation more. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In many urban cities, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the government should take action to reduce the
cars
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.
Moreover
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,
people
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 should
use
Use synonyms
 public
transportation
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 more than private
cars
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives of
this
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 phenomenon before presenting my opinion.
To begin
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 with, many
people
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 hold the view that the government should limit the
use
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 of
cars
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, especially on main roads.
This
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 is because they say it can result in heavy traffic, more specifically during work hours.
For instance
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, many workers tend to bring their private vehicles during weekdays, worsening the traffic jams.
As a result
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,
people
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 often arrive late to the office.
Additionally
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, a growing number of
people
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 believe that increasing
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
 tax can make
people
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 reconsider having their own
cars
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. They claim that many workers’ salary could not cover their daily expenses.
Thus
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, the idea of having own vehicles is completely out of reach.
Furthermore
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, there is a common belief that using public
transportation
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 promotes a healthy life. It is their view that those who
use
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 public
transportation
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,
such
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 as a train or bus, have to walk to get to the station.
For example
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,
people
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 who live far from the station can burn some calories by walking, making them fitter and more energetic.
Moreover
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, many
people
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 think that choosing public
transportation
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 can
also
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 contribute to preserving the environment. They claim that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the more
people
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use
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 buses, the cleaner the air since the contamination from private
cars
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 is lower. In conclusion,
while
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 the government promotes a range of regulations to reduce the number of
cars
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, I believe car owners should take public
transportation
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 because the advantages can lead to a healthy life and better air quality.

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introduction
Your introduction clearly outlines the essay topic and gives a preview of what will be discussed. However, it could be stronger by explicitly stating your own opinion in the introduction.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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