People should choose their course of study not on the basis of their own interests, but based on the kinds of jobs they can get. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is undeniable that choosing stable and qualified jobs has become commonplace in recent years.
However
, choosing a subject like art or music in which an individual is interested may create more unlimited possibilities. In
this
context, I totally disagree with the view that choosing a subject based on
job
opportunities
can be more beneficial. On the one hand, focusing on personal interests could create a boundless value.
For example
, musicians or artists have their innate talent and prioritize what they like, leading to the theory that practising makes perfect
such
as Yoyo Ma. As a Chinese famous pianist, choosing piano as a top-listed interest. Ultimately, combining an interest with a fortunate music career, no one does not recognize him as the best-ever musician in Asian countries.
Besides
, Dachien Chang, a well-known painter, opted for a subject he liked in school and
finally
made a valuable reputation and played a fantastic role in the art field.
Therefore
, people who insist on their interests and learn them from schools are beneficial to their work and life.
Conversely
, individuals tend to choose subjects like computer science and medical programs because of thousands of hundreds of
job
opportunities
.
For instance
, nearly 50% of the students think learning these subjects would get a long-term ticket like two AI-related companies–NVIDIA and TSMC, creating abundant
job
opportunities
and always needing more talented employees to join in, leading an increasing number of students to flock to
this
field.
Although
people are not obsessed with it, they decide to be a part of it.
Hence
, those who pay attention to which
job
provides a valuable reputation and better life quality can have a sense of achievement. In summary, both choosing a
job
based on interests and because of
job
opportunities
have its advantages and disadvantages. I believe that these two opinions all make sense of possessing fortunes if they devote themselves to their chosen jobs.
Submitted by aa0963178783 on

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task achievement
You have developed a clear argument and provided examples to support your points, which is good. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases that occasionally interrupt the flow of your writing. Consider reviewing your grammar and sentence structure to make your essay even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally cohesive and well-structured, certain transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. Try using more transition words or phrases to better guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points. This gives your essay a strong framework.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your arguments, which adds depth and credibility to your essay. This is particularly evident in the discussion about Yoyo Ma and Dachien Chang.
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