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Band 4.5

There are some violent cartoon characters on Tv such as Mickey mouse, which bring negative influence to children. Do you agree or disagree? What types of TV programs are suitable for children

#cartoon #characters #tv #mickey #mouse #influence #children #programs
Children are the buds of every nation. Some say that. Children can be affected detrimentally when they watch harsh animated
cartoon
 characters
such
 as Mickey
mouse
Capitalize word
Mouse
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 TV
series
. I firmly agree with
this
 statement for the following reasons. To commence with,
children
Correct article usage
the children
show examples
 stage is the
devloping
Correct your spelling
developing
 phase
While
 they can impact carily whether good or bad.
That is
says
Verb problem
apply
show examples
telecasting
violent-based
Correct your spelling
violence based
show examples
 on cartoons
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 long-term consequences.
For example
, many times toddlers
shoulding
Correct your spelling
should
coupled with
 eating to others we can see that
due to
 harsh animated
programs
, they watch every day, that's why
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
programs
 have more fan followers like infants.
Hence
, violent
cartoon
series
 indeed
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
 to detrimental
effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 toddlers.
Furthermore
, watching harsh-based
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
series
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 adverse
effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
, so, they should watch knowledge improving
programs
 namely,
cortistic
Correct your spelling
artistic
programs
.
That is
says
Verb problem
apply
show examples
numerous skills and talent oriented
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shows are aired on TV, so, parents
stimulate
Wrong verb form
are stimulated
show examples
 to watch
along
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
learn artistic
series
.
For instance
, one of the famous
cartoon
 channels of India," PoGo telecasts plenty of
program
Change to a plural noun
programs
show examples
, which how to recycle
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
waste materials
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 toddlers, and
this
 program has more fans. Hereby, child should watch
Programs
What
Correct word choice
That
show examples
enhances
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhance
show examples
 their creativity and skills on TV. In conclusion, infants are impacted negatively because of watching violent animated cartoons;
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
enhances their fighting and
souting
Correct your spelling
shouting
scouting
 to
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 of characters, and
this
 is a
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
effects
Change the noun form
effect
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
toddles
Correct your spelling
toddlers
show examples
, they should watch
programe
Correct your spelling
programmes
 which
improves
Correct subject-verb agreement
improve
show examples
 their creativity and talents.
Therefore
, I strongly agree with
this
 statement because watching harsh
cartoon
series
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 more detrimental
effects
 to infants.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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task achievement
Ensure all arguments are well-supported with relevant examples to substantiate claims. The essay could benefit from more detailed evidence.
coherence cohesion
Review and correct grammatical errors for improved clarity and readability. For example, 'telecasting violent-based on cartoons' should be 'telecasting cartoons based on violence'.
coherence cohesion
Use varied sentence structures and vocabulary to make the essay more engaging. This can enhance the readability and flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic. You clearly state that you agree with the statement and provide reasons for your perspective.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay. This helps to encapsulate the main points and offers a clear structure.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples, such as the mention of 'PoGo', an Indian cartoon channel. This makes the essay more relatable and practical.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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