Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. IELTS Essay Sample Answer (1)
Some people think that there are many pleasant entertainments and
games
we can do with our children
, which can help us to improve their aptitudes and possibilities more than a book reading. I'm not agree
with Change the verb form
I do not agree
this
state
for several reasons. I think that people who are convinced Replace the word
statement
on
it - have no clue that there is Change preposition
about
the
significant difference between playing and reading, on their root, and they are developing a variety of skills.
First and foremost, reading. There are many Correct article usage
a
games
that you can play with your children
, which are based on reading books. For instance
- creativity and imagination - "Let's try to imagine how does the main hero looks like", or "The author has rought
about the main Correct your spelling
thought
hero
house - let's try to describe his Change noun form
hero's
badroom
(dining room)". Correct your spelling
bedroom
Such
games
have two essencial
aims: the first - Correct your spelling
essential
skills
Add a missing verb
is skills
improvment
, Correct your spelling
improvement
moreover
, the second - habituating to read
. Replace the word
reading
Furthermore
, we can find a huge quantity of activities, that would be based on reading like drowing
, building, sewing etc. So, the reading is the greatest skill our Correct your spelling
drawing
drowning
children
must have.
Secondly
, we can find a lot of adventures with the children
outside the home, which would proceed our games
that have
based on our favourite books. Verb problem
are
For example
- "Are
you see Verb problem
Do
this
awesom
squirrel? Let's try to remember what is it eating. If you want, we can draw it at home, when we would be back."
In conclusion, I'm sure, that a book reading is the foundation of all diversity of the skills we have to help our young generation to develop and to improve.Correct your spelling
awesome
Submitted by anastasia on
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task achievement
Try to clearly state your position in the introduction. Instead of saying 'I'm not agree', use 'I do not agree' or 'I disagree'.
coherence
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and try to expand more on your examples to make them relevant and specific.
cohesion
Improve transitions between sentences and paragraphs for better flow and to make your essay more coherent.
language
Use a variety of sentence structures and try to avoid minor grammatical errors such as 'badroom' instead of 'bedroom'.
task achievement
You have provided some examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence
Your conclusion summarizes your main point and reinforces your position on the topic.