IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees this is beneficial. To what extent is globalisation a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answers and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#people #world #globalisation #development #answers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Currently, Even though our world
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 considered to be in
globalized
Add an article
a globalized
the globalized
show examples
 era, which I really agree too, people still debate about
are
Correct word choice
whether are
show examples
 there more advantages or disadvantages
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
 In my
opinions
Fix the agreement mistake
opinion
show examples
, I think
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 are beneficial to people more. I accept that now we live in
globalized
Add an article
a globalized
the globalized
show examples
 world as we can obviously see when we travel to
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
, we not only see local cuisine but
also
Linking Words
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
 variety of international
food
Use synonyms
for example
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Italian
food
Use synonyms
 that now can be adapted and
blend
Wrong verb form
blended
show examples
 with
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
 cultural
Use synonyms
food
Change to a plural noun
foods
show examples
 around the world
such
Linking Words
 as spaghetti which can mix with
Thai
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 to be Tom-yum spaghetti or with Chinese
food
Use synonyms
 known as mala spaghetti. I believe
this
Linking Words
 is a small thing but strong
evident
Replace the word
evidence
show examples
 for
globalization
Use synonyms
. On the one hand,
globalization
Use synonyms
 has many benefits for us in various
section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
show examples
. One of
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 outstanding
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 that
enhance
Change the verb form
enhances
show examples
 in terms of economics and societal culture. Global connectivity facilitates various social roles, including trade, contractual agreements, and services
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
 to the driving of economies.
For instance
Linking Words
,
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 industry
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cuisines from every corner of the globe traverse borders.
Thai
Use synonyms
 cuisine,
for example
Linking Words
, is found globally unexcepted
England
Change preposition
in England
show examples
 which
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 the upside down.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
inspire
Change the verb form
inspires
show examples
 cultural fusion, elevating the diversity and value of
food
Use synonyms
, which in turn impacts the quality of life, society, and cultural change in
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 efficient way.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
globalization
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 has drawbacks
due to
Linking Words
 the result
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 “Loss of culture”.
According to
Linking Words
Thai
Use synonyms
 culture in the past, we often wore traditional
Use synonyms
thai
Change the capitalization
Thai
show examples
 outfits like sabai or ate
food
Use synonyms
 with our hands.
However
Linking Words
, in the current era influenced by jeans,
spoon
Fix the agreement mistake
spoons
show examples
 and
fork
Fix the agreement mistake
forks
show examples
 from
Western
Correct article usage
the Western
show examples
causing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
those traditions
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
disappear
Wrong verb form
disappeared
show examples
. In summary,
globalization
Use synonyms
 has both negatives and positives but I consider it to give us benefits
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
since
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we can
thinking
Change the form of the verb
think
show examples
 in
way
Add an article
a way
show examples
 that the culture is not lost but just
blend
Correct subject-verb agreement
blends
show examples
 or
combine
Correct subject-verb agreement
combines
show examples
 with each other in order for the country to be
civilize
Wrong verb form
civilised
show examples
 and develop even more.
Submitted by apichaya4768 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
It would be beneficial to further develop and organize your ideas to comprehensively present both the advantages and disadvantages of globalization. Make sure to clearly state your stance and consistently support it with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the clarity of your ideas by organizing your paragraphs more logically. Each paragraph should ideally present a single, clearly defined point supported by relevant examples. This will aid in the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
task achievement
Your essay acknowledges both the positives and negatives of globalization, showing an understanding of the topic's complexity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion present in the essay help in framing and summarizing your main points adequately.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: