People used to live in the same city throughout their lives, but now they change where they live several times. What is the cause? Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

More
people
nowadays are moving out of their Hometown where they grew up in the first place,
this
essay will discuss the reason behind
this
and why I believe it is a good idea.
people
who tend to leave their families and move to several places think that they need to look for different opportunities to expand their life experiences in a particular area of their life that has been less active for a long time,
For example
, young adults who used to work in some small cities would love to travel out and about aiming to look for another type of work or a new course to join in because they are trying to discover more about their self and develop their personality.
However
, In my opinion, I believe it is a wonderful thing to do,
this
is because when you leave the place where you almost know everyone and every place you somehow go out of your comfort zone to a new environment where you meet new
people
.
For instance
, professional
people
like doctors and nurses immigrate every year from their Birth countries to new countries where they have to adapt to another language and society. In conclusion, many individuals are keen on relocating to different places
this
is
due to
their desire to try something new or discover more about other chances in new parts of the country,
furthermore
, I do think
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
something positive as it allows you to go behind you usual limits to
know
Add the particle
know to
show examples
gain a new
knowlage
Correct your spelling
knowledge
.
Submitted by hebadyala on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task prompt, but the introduction could be clearer. Consider rephrasing the introduction to clearly state the causes of people moving away from their hometowns and your stance on whether this is a positive or negative trend.
task achievement
Ensure your main points are well-supported with specific examples. For instance, you mention professionals like doctors and nurses but don't provide specific details on how they adapt or benefit from the move.
coherence cohesion
Work on your transitions between ideas to improve the flow of your essay. For example, use phrases like 'On the other hand' to show contrast between different viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
Be cautious of grammatical errors and typos. Simple mistakes such as improper capitalization (e.g., In at the start of a sentence) can detract from the readability of your essay.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic and provided reasons and examples to support your viewpoint, showing a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure to your writing.
task achievement
Your reasoning for why moving is beneficial is clear and insightful, particularly the point about stepping outside one's comfort zone and adapting to new environments.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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