Some people think person happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe this depends on other factors. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Happiness
indeed play
a crucial role in Change the verb form
plays
people
's lives. Some believe that economic success
the main reason for people
's happiness
while
others say that there are other aspects depend on pleasures such
as a
good Remove the article
apply
health
coupled with
a good family. This
essay discusses both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons.
On the one hand, person's
Correct article usage
a person's
happiness
is directly related to financial success because money
is everything in this
modern era, without economic wealthy
mankind does not get pleasure in their lives. Replace the word
wealth
That is
, having more money
on accounts, and asserts that leads to happiness
, besides
the oopulation
undergoes mentally. Correct your spelling
population
For example
, take India, people
always consider who have
more Correct subject-verb agreement
has
capitals
Fix the agreement mistake
capital
along with
assets as wealthy people
and successful persons. Needless to say, if individuals have more money
, they would to
be considered as happiest persons.
Change the verb form
apply
In contrast
, there are other factors that brings
Change the verb form
bring
happine
Correct your spelling
happiness
This
is, a
good Remove the article
apply
health
, and a good family that leads to more happiness
to
the population. Being a healthy stay Change preposition
for
for
away from depression and healthy, Change preposition
apply
similarly
, a good family without provides
any troubles, Verb problem
apply
and
Correct word choice
apply
as a result
, it
leads to satisfaction Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
the family lives, and Change preposition
in
it
brings more Correct pronoun usage
apply
happiness
, even they
do not have much more Correct word choice
if they
money
. For instance
, "Health
is wealth healthy lifestyle, and happy
family leads to more Correct article usage
a happy
happiness
undoubtedly. Hence
, health
and family also
brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
pleasures
to individuals.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
pleasure
although
having more money
to be considered as happiest person, health
and family are the most Importance
reasons for Replace the word
Important
pleasures
. Fix the agreement mistake
pleasure
However
, in my opinion, there are other factors that leads
to more Change the verb form
lead
happiness
like a healthy lifeettile
, and a happy family Correct your spelling
lifestyle
to
the population.Change preposition
for
Submitted by reanudeepan on
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language
Enhance your vocabulary and grammar skills. There are multiple grammatical mistakes and spelling mistakes that hinder the clarity of your message.
structure
Organize your ideas more logically. Your essay should have a clear and logical structure from introduction to conclusion. Make sure each paragraph flows well and builds upon the previous one.
evidence
Support your arguments with more specific examples and evidence. This would help in making your argument stronger and more persuasive.
discussion
You're able to touch upon both viewpoints regarding economic success and its correlation to happiness.
clarity
You provide a clear stance in your introduction and conclusion, showing your overall opinion effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?