Some people think person happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe this depends on other factors. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #person #happiness #success #factors

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Happiness

Use synonyms

indeed

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

a crucial role in

people

Use synonyms

's lives. Some believe that economic success the main reason for

people

Use synonyms

happiness

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others say that there are other aspects depend on pleasures

such

Linking Words

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good

health

Use synonyms

coupled with

Linking Words

a good family.

This

Linking Words

essay discusses both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons. On the one hand,

person's

Correct article usage

a person's

show examples

happiness

Use synonyms

is directly related to financial success because

money

Use synonyms

is everything in

this

Linking Words

modern era, without economic

wealthy

Replace the word

wealth

show examples

mankind does not get pleasure in their lives.

That is

Linking Words

, having more

money

Use synonyms

on accounts, and asserts that leads to

happiness

Use synonyms

besides

Linking Words

the

oopulation

Correct your spelling

population

undergoes mentally.

For example

Linking Words

, take India,

people

Use synonyms

always consider who

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

capitals

Fix the agreement mistake

capital

show examples

along with

Linking Words

assets as wealthy

people

Use synonyms

and successful persons. Needless to say, if individuals have more

money

Use synonyms

, they would

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

be considered as happiest persons.

In contrast

Linking Words

, there are other factors that

brings

Change the verb form

bring

show examples

happine

Correct your spelling

happiness

This

Linking Words

is,

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good

health

Use synonyms

, and a good family that leads to more

happiness

Use synonyms

Change preposition

for

show examples

the population. Being a healthy stay

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

away from depression and healthy,

similarly

Linking Words

, a good family without

provides

Verb problem

apply

show examples

any troubles,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

as a result

Linking Words

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

leads to satisfaction

Change preposition

show examples

the family lives, and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

brings more

happiness

Use synonyms

, even

they

Correct word choice

if they

show examples

do not have much more

money

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, "

Health

Use synonyms

is wealth healthy lifestyle, and

happy

Correct article usage

a happy

show examples

family leads to more

happiness

Use synonyms

undoubtedly.

Hence

Linking Words

health

Use synonyms

and family

also

Linking Words

brings

Correct subject-verb agreement

bring

show examples

pleasures

Fix the agreement mistake

pleasure

show examples

to individuals. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

having more

money

Use synonyms

to be considered as happiest person,

health

Use synonyms

and family are the most

Importance

Replace the word

Important

show examples

reasons for

pleasures

Fix the agreement mistake

pleasure

show examples

However

Linking Words

, in my opinion, there are other factors that

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

to more

happiness

Use synonyms

like a healthy

lifeettile

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

, and a happy family

Change preposition

for

show examples

the population.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Sat Jul 13 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language

Enhance your vocabulary and grammar skills. There are multiple grammatical mistakes and spelling mistakes that hinder the clarity of your message.

structure

Organize your ideas more logically. Your essay should have a clear and logical structure from introduction to conclusion. Make sure each paragraph flows well and builds upon the previous one.

evidence

Support your arguments with more specific examples and evidence. This would help in making your argument stronger and more persuasive.

discussion

You're able to touch upon both viewpoints regarding economic success and its correlation to happiness.

clarity

You provide a clear stance in your introduction and conclusion, showing your overall opinion effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

282 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

economic success
material wealth
emotional well-being
psychological satisfaction
personal fulfillment
quality of life
financial stability
socioeconomic status
mental health
sense of purpose
interpersonal relationships
cultural norms
subjective well-being
life satisfaction
luxuries
financial security
self-actualization
work-life balance
non-materialistic values
livelihood

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?
Training children plays a vital role in society. It is believed that children should learn to differentiate between right and wrong from an early age. They should be disciplined if they do something wrong; as this method effectively teaches them to distinguish between good and evil deeds. In my opinion, this statement is true.
<4
band
Because of traffic and housing problems in the cities，the government encourages business move to the rural area. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages
Nowadays, traffic and housing are huge problems in the cities which government are powerless against it. Goverment encourges business move to the rurar area to solving these problems. Generally all of the mega cities1 population suffer from traffic and housing which is hard to explain and define solution for them. Urban population are getting bigger and bigger every day. A virus group of people suggest that the government support business move to the towns which it helps village economy, and reduced traffic housing dificculty. It could be one of the most important key to solve these issues. Every day humans move to work city and improve their lifestyle which are resulted the same thing.
5.5
band
Some people think having a university degree is the best way to secure a good job. However, others believe skills and experience are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
People have different views on what are the important measures to guarantee getting a job. Some persons believe, that it is mor important to gain experience first, while other people argue that higher education is important. I agree with those, who believe that securing a higher education is more important.
7.5
band
In order to solve traffic problems, the government should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transport. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?
Recently, with the urgency of fostering public transport to address traffic issues, several argue that it should be done by utilizing funds from additional taxes for private automobile owners. This strategy can bring this amenity to every resident; on the contrary, it may also enhance the automobile's price.
7.5
band
As a result of electronic inventions ,people do less physical activity and this is having a negative effect on their health . To what extent do you agree or disagree
Due to the advent of technology ,individuals perform less exercise and it is having a detrimental impact on their well-being.I totally agree with this view because of the change in attitude and dependence on artificial intelligence .The essay will explain in detail the reasons for my stance as well as examples in the subsequent paragraphs.

Some people think person happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe this depends on other factors. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Because of traffic and housing problems in the cities，the government encourages business move to the rural area. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Some people think having a university degree is the best way to secure a good job. However, others believe skills and experience are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In order to solve traffic problems, the government should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transport. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?

As a result of electronic inventions ,people do less physical activity and this is having a negative effect on their health . To what extent do you agree or disagree