Write about the following topic. Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #computer #effects #children

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Children's

Unnecessary verb

Children

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nowadays are using

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

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really often and that's something dangerous for many reasons.

Firstly

, it can

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

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your brain and your

eye sight

Correct your spelling

eyesight

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Rephrase

Moreover

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over

Change preposition

apply

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it can cause back hurt. Add to that, these reasons may lead to bigger

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

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in the

fuatcher

Correct your spelling

future

On the other hand

, using

computer

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computers

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has some positive

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

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Such

as it can

hel

Correct your spelling

help

[ you with studying, have some fun, and communicate with each other.

Although

it has many positive effects

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

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still a bad thing because our health is priceless and nothing is important more than our health. That's why using

Add an article

the computer

a computer

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computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

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has more negative effects than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

positive

Correct pronoun usage

positive ones

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To sum up

, using

computer

Add an article

a computer

the computer

show examples

is a good thing with balance and we should be aware of those bad effects

Submitted by aa.alshallal7 on Sat Jul 13 2024

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task achievement

Your essay could be enhanced by including more specific examples and detailed reasons to support your argument. Drawing on personal experiences or well-known facts would strengthen your points significantly.

coherence cohesion

Try to organize your ideas more clearly. For example, present one point in favor of your argument, explain it fully, and then give an example before moving on to the next point. This will help to strengthen your argument and improve readability.

general

There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. Careful proofreading could help catch these. You might also consider using more complex sentence structures to convey your thoughts more effectively.

general

You present a clear opinion on the topic and discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of using a computer every day.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion succinctly sums up your argument, making your stance clear.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

125 words

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Write about the following topic. Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Today, anybody can use a mobile phone to answer the work and personal calls at any time or 7 days a week. Does this development have more positive or negative effects on both individuals and society?

Some people believe that children should start school as early as possible, while others believe that children should begin school when they are at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your opinion.