IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Your neighbor keeps his/her animal in the garden. Write to him/her about it and the inconvenience it causes you and your family. In your letter · tell what the problem is · explain why it causes inconvenience · suggest a possible solution to it

#neighbor #garden #inconvenience
Dear Bushan,                       I am Jagan, residing at house number 23A. I am writing to let you know about the dog which you kept in your garden. I own a dog.
Therefore
 you can understand I love dogs. I waited for more than a couple of weeks before I wrote
this
 letter.Your dog Tom is a nice pet. when you are around he keeps the neighbourhood friendly. But you travel a lot and confer the responsibility to your friend Sham. I think he is not doing a decent job. He doesn't refill his food and water on a daily basis resulting in excessive barking. Which is creating disturbance for me
as well as
 for the neighbourhood. Sometimes he doesn't provide adequate food during the evenings, which results in excessive barking on the following day in the morning.Henceforth I suggest informing Sham to visit every day and provide enough food. once you reach home please give me a call back so that we can discuss
this
further
.yours SincerelyJagan
Submitted by kishna.238 on

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coherence cohesion
While the logical structure is present, the paragraphs could be better organized to enhance clarity and flow. Consider dividing the content into clear, logical paragraphs, each dealing with a separate aspect of the issue.
coherence cohesion
A single idea per paragraph would enhance readability. For instance, the first paragraph can introduce the issue, the second can describe the inconvenience caused, and the third can offer a solution.
task achievement
Ensure complete response to the task by more explicitly stating the problem at the beginning and offering a clear, detailed solution towards the end.
task achievement
Maintain a suitable writing tone throughout your letter; while your tone is polite and appropriate, strive for a more formal approach in line with the IELTS letter-writing criteria.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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